Hour three of my 7-hour layover in Vancouver and my eyelids are droooooping. It sucks having such a long layover so close to home when I could be spending time with the family. Oh well, at least Vancouver airport is gorgeous! It's nicer than most shopping malls here and there are (mildly creepy) Native American sculptures all over. I'm currently positioned in a comfy chair next to a burbling stream using free wifi. Eat that, Sea-Tac!
Okay, i was gonna do a blog post about visiting home, but I just feel like finding a place to stretch out and take a nap. So so tired. I managed to do all the things I was hoping to do this week, but it meant not getting very much sleep. Woops! Jet-lag is gonna be a bitch...Good thing I don't have to work the four days following my return! Oh wait, I got that backwards. I'm working full 8-hour shifts for the four days following my return...
Saying goodbye was much harder this time around. Yep, I cried. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I was only home for six days, so I don't feel like I got to see enough of anybody. It's like when you're hungry, and someone gives you a tiny appetizer to take the edge off your hunger, but it only whets your appetite and makes you want more. I should have gone for two weeks to get satiated without feeling overstuffed. But everyone is back to work today anyway, so there wouldn't really be anyway to hang out with.
Here's what all I did:
Monday night: flight from Vancouver to Seattle canceled; spent night in nice hotel room; took lovely hot bath.
Tuesday: arrived in snowy Seattle late morning; took bus home where Michele made me yummy lunch; caught bus to Redmond to see Jocky briefly; had dinner with Mama, Jody, Amy, and Diana; got slightly tipsy and watched Harry Potter; spent the night at Amy's, even though she wasn't there.
Wednesday: drove three hours south to Portland with Jocky and Amy, lunch with Gma, Gpa, Aunt Leslie and Uncle Steve; shopped in downtown Portland (I like it there!); dinner with Aunt Chris; three hour drive home.
Thursday: Turkey Day at Ward and Dixie's; Secret Santa name draw (I'm not telling you whose name I drew!).
Black Friday: Woke at 2:15am to go shopping with Katy and Michele (clearly, I lost my mind at some point on Thursday). Shopped until 8am, then took a nap; went shopping again at 11am; met up briefly with Jocky at Banana Republic; lunch and nice catch-up time with Ross and Sandra; watched Mama and Jody play soccer (OMG! Mama playing soccer?! Awesome!); fell asleep in my Red Robin burger; spent the night at Amy's, in her roommate's room; woken up by Amy sometime around midnight because roommate was on her way home and I had to get out of her bed.
Saturday: breakfast and Target shopping with Jody (oh Target, how I do love thee; please move to London!); brief hanging out with Mama (mostly just me playing Kinectimals); high tea with Michele, Katy, Jody, and Becky at the Queen Mary teahouse; dinner date with Pops; briefly lose my wallet, then discover it at home. Phew!
Sunday: Watch Miracle on 34th Street while Michele puts up and decorates Christmas tree; lunch with Sara and Emily in U District; snacks and bubbly at Ross and Sandra's with their newly adopted daughter and Jocky, Amy, and Diana; watch cheesy Hallmark film with Pops and Michele; cry into Pops' shoulder at the thought of leaving.
Monday: Leave it all behind once again.
I have a feeling that might have been really boring to read. Anyway, I'm amazed I got so much done. It's no surprise I feel dead tired. Sadly, I don't have many photos to show for all the hijinks, except lots of photos of Mama playing soccer. I feel an evil laugh coming on. Mwah hahaha-ha!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Omens
I'm gonna be home in LESS THAN A WEEK!!!! Wooohooooooo! Can't wait!!!!
Happy birthday to John! I hope it's wonderful!
I don't have much else to report. I still haven't signed an updated contract at work, so still don't know if they're going to offer me more money or if I'll have to demand it. I feel like threatening to leave just before Christmas should knock some sense into them. Especially as one of the other girls they just promoted just gave her two weeks notice. They're dropping like flies.
I recently read The Alchemist, which was SOOO GOOD! Now I keep thinking that I should be paying better attention to signs and omens, that the Universe/God is probably sending me messages telling me what to do next, but I'm just not paying attention. The question popped into my head the other day: If I were to leave London and move to a different city, would I miss London? And the answer was "no." I would miss Izzi and Tim, and Holly. I would miss Carina a tiny bit but I hardly ever see her. If Tanya was staying in London, I'd miss her too, but she's still not sure if she'll be sticking around or going back to Canada. And that's about it. Five people.
I was thinking about all this as I passed under the prime meridian laser the other night, and I thought, "What if the laser is an omen, pointing me to an exotic northern locale?" So I hopped onto my trusty MacBook and pulled up Google maps to see where the prime meridian passes through on it's way north from London. I quickly determined that the prime meridian is NOT a helpful omen, directing me to my next adventure, as it passes through nowhere of any interest. It comes nearish to Cambridge, which is kind of a nice place but I didn't really like it that much, and Hull, which by all accounts is one of the most miserable places on earth. Then the line shoots off into the North Sea. So yeah. Back to the drawing board.
Happy birthday to John! I hope it's wonderful!
I don't have much else to report. I still haven't signed an updated contract at work, so still don't know if they're going to offer me more money or if I'll have to demand it. I feel like threatening to leave just before Christmas should knock some sense into them. Especially as one of the other girls they just promoted just gave her two weeks notice. They're dropping like flies.
I recently read The Alchemist, which was SOOO GOOD! Now I keep thinking that I should be paying better attention to signs and omens, that the Universe/God is probably sending me messages telling me what to do next, but I'm just not paying attention. The question popped into my head the other day: If I were to leave London and move to a different city, would I miss London? And the answer was "no." I would miss Izzi and Tim, and Holly. I would miss Carina a tiny bit but I hardly ever see her. If Tanya was staying in London, I'd miss her too, but she's still not sure if she'll be sticking around or going back to Canada. And that's about it. Five people.
I was thinking about all this as I passed under the prime meridian laser the other night, and I thought, "What if the laser is an omen, pointing me to an exotic northern locale?" So I hopped onto my trusty MacBook and pulled up Google maps to see where the prime meridian passes through on it's way north from London. I quickly determined that the prime meridian is NOT a helpful omen, directing me to my next adventure, as it passes through nowhere of any interest. It comes nearish to Cambridge, which is kind of a nice place but I didn't really like it that much, and Hull, which by all accounts is one of the most miserable places on earth. Then the line shoots off into the North Sea. So yeah. Back to the drawing board.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Back on the funny farm
Happy 26th birthday to the best second-youngest sister a girl could ask for! I miss you, Jodifer, but I'll see you soon! Also, while I'm at it, a very happy early birthday to Sandra and John! Can't wait to see you ALL!
Man, I had such a great weekend!!! I wasn't scheduled for Wednesday or Thursday, my first two days off in two months. I decided to get lots of work done for PhD guy, who sent me an email earlier in the week saying the WHO wants to see a publication by December so let's really rush this through. Eeps! Izzi and Tim invited me over for dinner Wednesday, and I was happy for once to not have to ask them to push it back until 8 or 9pm. Izzi made a delicious pie with chicken and bacon (my favorite!) She would like me to set the record straight, and I'm happy to oblige: my last post implied a bit that she and Tim are narcissists. This is not at all true. Only Tim is a narcissist. :-) He's still wonderful, though. He's growing a 'tache for Movember to raise awareness for prostate cancer, and though I'm normally a total 'tache hater, I feel I can support them for charity's sake. Also, I want to see what he manages to shape it into.
Tanya returned to London this week after a 5-month hiatus back home (Canada) so Holly suggested we all go to the Farm for the weekend, and go to Bonfire Night in Lewes (I went last year and it was SO MUCH FUN!) She asked if I could get Friday off work, which I was able to do in the end, and then on Thursday, a girl randomly asked if she could work for me on Saturday. So I had FOUR days off IN A ROW! Amazing!!! And I got to go to the Farm! And spend three days with Tanya! (and Holly, of course) So wonderful. We got to play with the baby (getting so big and clever!) and romp through the fields. Tanya, in her usual wide-eyed-wonderment way, asked, "So when you guys were little, you could just pick a field to run through?" (They do have a heckuva lotta fields. Full of deer, no less!) Holly's parents bought the farm in the 70s cuz they were hippies and wanted to work the land and live with friends and family around and raise their kids in a healthy, rural environment. Her older brother lives in a little room off the side of the house, and her sister and brother-in-law live with their little girl in a house across the driveway, but they're building a house in one of the fields. Her aunt and uncle live on the neighboring plot of land. Apparently, it's Holly's dad's dream that she and all her friends move into the big house and make it like some sort of happy commune. Yes, please! I would move there in a heartbeat.
(By the way, while I'm thinking about it: Ross, I LOVE my camera! I know you gave it to me five years ago, and there are probably more amazing ones are the market now, but it's such a great camera! The above series of photos wouldn't have been possible without the multiple-shot function, and I also used the color accent function a ton.)
We returned to London on Saturday to celebrate Aparna's birthday by letting Aparna cook us all a curry. It was super yummy. I'm hoping to absorb some good cooking tips from her, by allowing her to cook all my meals for me and half listen to her telling me what she's doing as she goes along. :-D
Man, I had such a great weekend!!! I wasn't scheduled for Wednesday or Thursday, my first two days off in two months. I decided to get lots of work done for PhD guy, who sent me an email earlier in the week saying the WHO wants to see a publication by December so let's really rush this through. Eeps! Izzi and Tim invited me over for dinner Wednesday, and I was happy for once to not have to ask them to push it back until 8 or 9pm. Izzi made a delicious pie with chicken and bacon (my favorite!) She would like me to set the record straight, and I'm happy to oblige: my last post implied a bit that she and Tim are narcissists. This is not at all true. Only Tim is a narcissist. :-) He's still wonderful, though. He's growing a 'tache for Movember to raise awareness for prostate cancer, and though I'm normally a total 'tache hater, I feel I can support them for charity's sake. Also, I want to see what he manages to shape it into.
Tanya returned to London this week after a 5-month hiatus back home (Canada) so Holly suggested we all go to the Farm for the weekend, and go to Bonfire Night in Lewes (I went last year and it was SO MUCH FUN!) She asked if I could get Friday off work, which I was able to do in the end, and then on Thursday, a girl randomly asked if she could work for me on Saturday. So I had FOUR days off IN A ROW! Amazing!!! And I got to go to the Farm! And spend three days with Tanya! (and Holly, of course) So wonderful. We got to play with the baby (getting so big and clever!) and romp through the fields. Tanya, in her usual wide-eyed-wonderment way, asked, "So when you guys were little, you could just pick a field to run through?" (They do have a heckuva lotta fields. Full of deer, no less!) Holly's parents bought the farm in the 70s cuz they were hippies and wanted to work the land and live with friends and family around and raise their kids in a healthy, rural environment. Her older brother lives in a little room off the side of the house, and her sister and brother-in-law live with their little girl in a house across the driveway, but they're building a house in one of the fields. Her aunt and uncle live on the neighboring plot of land. Apparently, it's Holly's dad's dream that she and all her friends move into the big house and make it like some sort of happy commune. Yes, please! I would move there in a heartbeat.
(By the way, while I'm thinking about it: Ross, I LOVE my camera! I know you gave it to me five years ago, and there are probably more amazing ones are the market now, but it's such a great camera! The above series of photos wouldn't have been possible without the multiple-shot function, and I also used the color accent function a ton.)
We returned to London on Saturday to celebrate Aparna's birthday by letting Aparna cook us all a curry. It was super yummy. I'm hoping to absorb some good cooking tips from her, by allowing her to cook all my meals for me and half listen to her telling me what she's doing as she goes along. :-D
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Stuff
Happy impending birthday to my favorite daddio!
Tisobel have asked that I update my blog, and write about them. They like to read about themselves. But when I leave this long between posts, it becomes a chore because I have so much to catch up on! I'll try to make it quick.
1. Izzi and Tim have had me over for dinner three times since they got married in September (did I post pics?) I love their new home! It's so cozy and bright and homey. It's wonderful in every way. Also, they make me yummy yummy food. I heart them. I told them that Ross and Sandra were adopting a grown-up woman, and they decided they want to adopt me. I didn't think my bio 'rents would appreciate it much, though, so maybe I will just move into the flat two doors down from them and be their neighbor instead of their daughter.
2. A month ago, I moved to Leytonstone, which is miiiiiiiiiiiles out of central London. It's in zone 3, east London. I work in zone 2, west London. I hate hate hate having to wake up at 6:30 in the morning to get to work on time and I haven't been getting home until late, but I'm actually kind of enjoying being out in the suburbs. I've been feeling lately like it might be time for me to leave London, like I'm over it. But moving out to the suburbs has actually fixed that feeling a bit. It's not even a nice suburb, either! It's dingy and grimy and a bit on the sketchy side, but I kind of love it! Also, one night as I was walking home, I noticed a green light shining across the sky. At first, I thought it was a skylight, but it was stationary. It took me a minute to realize that it's the laser beamed from Greenwich, delineating the prime meridian. How cool is that? I cross the prime meridian every day on my way to work, and again on my way home. Fun!
3. I want to come home for Thanksgiving. I asked for time off from work (they wouldn't give me time off for Christmas and I kinda wanted to spend Christmas here again, though I have no plan for who to spend it with.) Ticket prices are high, but I'm feeling a feeling which might be called "homesick" so I don't care. I actually got homesick standing in Starbucks the other day! Can you believe it? They sell something called the "Seattle Latte" which comes in a little plastic cup out of the refrigerated section. They were also selling mugs with the old-school mermaid logo, and it was all too much for me. Thoughts of home came flooding over me and suddenly, my plan of coming home for one week didn't feel like enough. The only problem is, I don't actually have the money. My old flatmate still hasn't given me back my deposit, even though it's been three and a half weeks (GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!) and I was gonna use that to buy the ticket. At any rate, tomorrow is payday so I can buy the ticket then. I wish I could have bought it two weeks ago, but whatever! Life goes on, I suppose. Anyway, I expect to see ALL of your lovely faces in the whirlwind one-week tour I'll be making of the Greater Seattle and Portland areas.
4. So I was working two retail jobs, working seven days a week, right? This was not making me a happy girl, and I didn't really click at the second job, so I gave my notice. Friday is my last day and I am RELIEVED! It's a stressful job. Customer service over the phone is way harder and more stressful than face-to-face (especially when your company has just launched a new website and it has many, many flaws). Anyway, I asked the Big A if I could go full time, and they said yes, and also,
5. They are promoting me! Sort of. I'm kind of happy, but mostly annoyed and suspicious. They mentioned a few weeks ago that they wanted me to be sort of the till manager, so I asked my boss if this would involve a pay raise. The flat-out response was "no," mixed in with some mild jabs at my job performance (she's kind of a two-faced, untrustworthy type who makes up stupid excuses not to do stuff for you). So...yeah. Today, they told me I'm being promoted to Senior Customer Associate, and I'll be expected to be manager-on-duty at times. I'm not sure what to tell them. I want them to trust me and give me more responsibility, but I will not take on stressful management roles without a pay raise. I earn the same hourly wage that I earned when I started for them. The same hourly wage all my non-Senior Customer Associate coworkers also earn! I mean, hell no, right? And yet, it might be that or walk. I don't know. I know they are just taking advantage and I need to put my foot down and say, "Kusems L. Poppington will stand for this no longer!" Maybe.
6. The PhD guy changed his mind, and wants me to help him again! YAY!!! But I'm feeling bad cuz I'm still going really slowly (what with two jobs, moving, having no internet access at home until this week, and having a surprisingly active social life). :-S I am using my long commutes to sift through articles, though, so that's good. But I'm worried he's gonna get frustrated with how long this is taking. Must stop blogging and get back to work!
7. Sleepover with coworkers tomorrow (how funny is that?), the old gang over for dinner on Friday, and Halloween Saturday! Yippee! Oh, and daylight savings on Sunday, so the time difference between London and Seattle will be 7 hours for a couple weeks, I think. Just so's you know.
Tisobel have asked that I update my blog, and write about them. They like to read about themselves. But when I leave this long between posts, it becomes a chore because I have so much to catch up on! I'll try to make it quick.
1. Izzi and Tim have had me over for dinner three times since they got married in September (did I post pics?) I love their new home! It's so cozy and bright and homey. It's wonderful in every way. Also, they make me yummy yummy food. I heart them. I told them that Ross and Sandra were adopting a grown-up woman, and they decided they want to adopt me. I didn't think my bio 'rents would appreciate it much, though, so maybe I will just move into the flat two doors down from them and be their neighbor instead of their daughter.
2. A month ago, I moved to Leytonstone, which is miiiiiiiiiiiles out of central London. It's in zone 3, east London. I work in zone 2, west London. I hate hate hate having to wake up at 6:30 in the morning to get to work on time and I haven't been getting home until late, but I'm actually kind of enjoying being out in the suburbs. I've been feeling lately like it might be time for me to leave London, like I'm over it. But moving out to the suburbs has actually fixed that feeling a bit. It's not even a nice suburb, either! It's dingy and grimy and a bit on the sketchy side, but I kind of love it! Also, one night as I was walking home, I noticed a green light shining across the sky. At first, I thought it was a skylight, but it was stationary. It took me a minute to realize that it's the laser beamed from Greenwich, delineating the prime meridian. How cool is that? I cross the prime meridian every day on my way to work, and again on my way home. Fun!
3. I want to come home for Thanksgiving. I asked for time off from work (they wouldn't give me time off for Christmas and I kinda wanted to spend Christmas here again, though I have no plan for who to spend it with.) Ticket prices are high, but I'm feeling a feeling which might be called "homesick" so I don't care. I actually got homesick standing in Starbucks the other day! Can you believe it? They sell something called the "Seattle Latte" which comes in a little plastic cup out of the refrigerated section. They were also selling mugs with the old-school mermaid logo, and it was all too much for me. Thoughts of home came flooding over me and suddenly, my plan of coming home for one week didn't feel like enough. The only problem is, I don't actually have the money. My old flatmate still hasn't given me back my deposit, even though it's been three and a half weeks (GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!) and I was gonna use that to buy the ticket. At any rate, tomorrow is payday so I can buy the ticket then. I wish I could have bought it two weeks ago, but whatever! Life goes on, I suppose. Anyway, I expect to see ALL of your lovely faces in the whirlwind one-week tour I'll be making of the Greater Seattle and Portland areas.
4. So I was working two retail jobs, working seven days a week, right? This was not making me a happy girl, and I didn't really click at the second job, so I gave my notice. Friday is my last day and I am RELIEVED! It's a stressful job. Customer service over the phone is way harder and more stressful than face-to-face (especially when your company has just launched a new website and it has many, many flaws). Anyway, I asked the Big A if I could go full time, and they said yes, and also,
5. They are promoting me! Sort of. I'm kind of happy, but mostly annoyed and suspicious. They mentioned a few weeks ago that they wanted me to be sort of the till manager, so I asked my boss if this would involve a pay raise. The flat-out response was "no," mixed in with some mild jabs at my job performance (she's kind of a two-faced, untrustworthy type who makes up stupid excuses not to do stuff for you). So...yeah. Today, they told me I'm being promoted to Senior Customer Associate, and I'll be expected to be manager-on-duty at times. I'm not sure what to tell them. I want them to trust me and give me more responsibility, but I will not take on stressful management roles without a pay raise. I earn the same hourly wage that I earned when I started for them. The same hourly wage all my non-Senior Customer Associate coworkers also earn! I mean, hell no, right? And yet, it might be that or walk. I don't know. I know they are just taking advantage and I need to put my foot down and say, "Kusems L. Poppington will stand for this no longer!" Maybe.
6. The PhD guy changed his mind, and wants me to help him again! YAY!!! But I'm feeling bad cuz I'm still going really slowly (what with two jobs, moving, having no internet access at home until this week, and having a surprisingly active social life). :-S I am using my long commutes to sift through articles, though, so that's good. But I'm worried he's gonna get frustrated with how long this is taking. Must stop blogging and get back to work!
7. Sleepover with coworkers tomorrow (how funny is that?), the old gang over for dinner on Friday, and Halloween Saturday! Yippee! Oh, and daylight savings on Sunday, so the time difference between London and Seattle will be 7 hours for a couple weeks, I think. Just so's you know.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My latest creation
I have been upset with a stupid boy all day. The thing is, I think I'm pretty wonderful, and it really galls me when anyone treats me like I'm just some girl. I'm not just some girl. I'm one of the most wonderful, sweet, amazing girls you'll ever have the good fortune to meet! So how dare you be so blase about spending time with me?!? You should be so lucky to have the opportunity!!
I was making a card for Izzi and Tim (only two weeks late for their wedding :-S), and I decided I needed to make a card for this boy, too. So after a long hiatus from drawing (pretty much since Africa last summer), here is my latest creation.
In other news, Izzi and Tim's (or Tisobel's, if you prefer) wedding was wonderful, beautiful, and the most fun I've had in quite a long time. You better believe I shook my little booty quite a bit. The ceremony was hilarious. The minister actually quoted the Princess Bride! I could not believe it! It was a bit sad, though, because few British people have seen the Princess Bride so no one else had any idea what he was on about, but I was laughing hysterically in my seat.
The PhD guy pulled me off the project for the moment. He needed to get it done more quickly and I was holding him back. He said I can help him in November when he gets back from traveling. I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't a little bit devastated. I may have cried into my pillow and sobbed over the phone to Holly. And considering I now work long hours seven days a week in two jobs that give me zero feelings of satisfaction or fulfillment, it's no wonder that I'm feeling a bit frustrated with life. But I won't lose hope. I'm moving in a couple weeks and I hope that will be a positive experience. It's a much bigger room, for less than I pay now, and I'll be living with a good, diseases-loving friend and her childhood friend, though it is a bit far out and clear on the other side of town from both my jobs. It's gonna be good, though. I can feel it. I will make it so.
I was making a card for Izzi and Tim (only two weeks late for their wedding :-S), and I decided I needed to make a card for this boy, too. So after a long hiatus from drawing (pretty much since Africa last summer), here is my latest creation.
In other news, Izzi and Tim's (or Tisobel's, if you prefer) wedding was wonderful, beautiful, and the most fun I've had in quite a long time. You better believe I shook my little booty quite a bit. The ceremony was hilarious. The minister actually quoted the Princess Bride! I could not believe it! It was a bit sad, though, because few British people have seen the Princess Bride so no one else had any idea what he was on about, but I was laughing hysterically in my seat.
The PhD guy pulled me off the project for the moment. He needed to get it done more quickly and I was holding him back. He said I can help him in November when he gets back from traveling. I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't a little bit devastated. I may have cried into my pillow and sobbed over the phone to Holly. And considering I now work long hours seven days a week in two jobs that give me zero feelings of satisfaction or fulfillment, it's no wonder that I'm feeling a bit frustrated with life. But I won't lose hope. I'm moving in a couple weeks and I hope that will be a positive experience. It's a much bigger room, for less than I pay now, and I'll be living with a good, diseases-loving friend and her childhood friend, though it is a bit far out and clear on the other side of town from both my jobs. It's gonna be good, though. I can feel it. I will make it so.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Cool kids
No John, I'm not still sick. Just too busy to update my blog!
The PhD student that I offered to help (for free, of course) is finally ready to kick things off, and he has signed me up as an honorary research fellow at the school. This means my school email has been re-activated (they cut us all off a month after we finished our dissertations) and I get to spend more time at the school. I've previously noticed that any time I spend at the school makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside. It reminds me of the good old days when I was surrounded by people with the same passions and interests as me. When it was perfectly normal for dinner conversation to revolve around gastric worm infections and the best treatment for herpes. I miss it like crazy, but I don't really realise that I've been missing it until I'm reexposed to it all.
The PhD student that I offered to help (for free, of course) is finally ready to kick things off, and he has signed me up as an honorary research fellow at the school. This means my school email has been re-activated (they cut us all off a month after we finished our dissertations) and I get to spend more time at the school. I've previously noticed that any time I spend at the school makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside. It reminds me of the good old days when I was surrounded by people with the same passions and interests as me. When it was perfectly normal for dinner conversation to revolve around gastric worm infections and the best treatment for herpes. I miss it like crazy, but I don't really realise that I've been missing it until I'm reexposed to it all.
So when I logged in to my email account just now for the first time, I almost felt like crying with joy when the first two emails I read were headed:
"New Podcast: "This Wormy World": Global Atlas of Worm Infections"
and
"Delete if not interested in TB"
It's like I've been temporarily invited into an elite club that I've been dying to get into for a year.
Friday, August 06, 2010
The time, it's a-flying
Tempus fugit, yo. In approximately one month and a week, I will have been in this country for two years. Two years! It really doesn't feel like that long. I managed to snag myself a second part-time job, so I've stopped stressing about money, but I've started stressing about moving. I told my flatmate/landlord that I'm looking for cheaper flats, and she said she was gonna start advertising my room. I thought that was a bit abrupt, but it's really not, seeing as how we're cruising through August already, and I want to move out at the beginning of September. And then I realized that Ingo and Beccy are coming to visit at the end of August, beginning of Septebmer, so why on earth did I commit myself to moving?! Shoot shoot shoot. Oh well, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll talk to Mel and postpone for another month.
I'm sick. I spent all day yesterday squeaking at people at work because I've lost my voice. I sound like a boy going through puberty. This morning, I awoke to an invasion of snot and phlegm. Might call in sick to work, though the president of the whole friggin' company is visiting the store today, so they might kind of want me to be there. We'll see.
I'm sick. I spent all day yesterday squeaking at people at work because I've lost my voice. I sound like a boy going through puberty. This morning, I awoke to an invasion of snot and phlegm. Might call in sick to work, though the president of the whole friggin' company is visiting the store today, so they might kind of want me to be there. We'll see.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Here we go again
Being depressed makes me sad.
haha See what I did there?
No, but seriously. I'm depressed again and I HATE it. I wish I knew what made me slump, so I could shoot it in the face. But that's probably the depression talking. I know that, as always, this too shall pass. It's temporary. I'll feel better in a few days, or at most, a couple weeks. But I almost cried at work today...for no reason whatsoever. They had me at the front of the store as a greeter (read: theft prevention), and there was no one to talk to. I just had to walk around in circles tidying things. So I was all alone with my thoughts, and thinking about the fact that I was depressed, or how frustrated I was that I didn't know what was causing it, made me want to cry. I imagined calling my friends to chat with them, and that thought made me cry. It was ridiculous. And it was just because I was alone with my thoughts. If I'd been talking to someone else, I would have been totally fine and smiley, though perhaps slightly panicky on the inside.
I need to laugh, and I need to sleep, so I'm gonna watch some tv and hit the hay. It's a good thing I'll be seeing Izzi tomorrow. That'll cheer me up.
haha See what I did there?
No, but seriously. I'm depressed again and I HATE it. I wish I knew what made me slump, so I could shoot it in the face. But that's probably the depression talking. I know that, as always, this too shall pass. It's temporary. I'll feel better in a few days, or at most, a couple weeks. But I almost cried at work today...for no reason whatsoever. They had me at the front of the store as a greeter (read: theft prevention), and there was no one to talk to. I just had to walk around in circles tidying things. So I was all alone with my thoughts, and thinking about the fact that I was depressed, or how frustrated I was that I didn't know what was causing it, made me want to cry. I imagined calling my friends to chat with them, and that thought made me cry. It was ridiculous. And it was just because I was alone with my thoughts. If I'd been talking to someone else, I would have been totally fine and smiley, though perhaps slightly panicky on the inside.
I need to laugh, and I need to sleep, so I'm gonna watch some tv and hit the hay. It's a good thing I'll be seeing Izzi tomorrow. That'll cheer me up.
Thursday, July 01, 2010
The last months in pictures
Finally, some photos!
Firstly, a rather shocking change:
This is the first time in my life that my hair has been shorter than shoulder length. It was not scary having it all cut off. I guess I'd been toying with the idea for a while. Also, all three of my sisters have already gone short, so I'm really just following the trend. I went to the same place I've been going since January, an academy where they give free hair cuts. This time, the students were a bunch of Italian hair students visiting London for some courses at the academy. I spoke with the guy who works there about what he would do with it, and then he handed me over to an Italian hair student who spoke no English. Fun!
I tried curling it today. It sort of worked.
Cambridge with Tanya:
Beccy and Ingo's Wedding:
And Royal Ascot:
Firstly, a rather shocking change:
This is the first time in my life that my hair has been shorter than shoulder length. It was not scary having it all cut off. I guess I'd been toying with the idea for a while. Also, all three of my sisters have already gone short, so I'm really just following the trend. I went to the same place I've been going since January, an academy where they give free hair cuts. This time, the students were a bunch of Italian hair students visiting London for some courses at the academy. I spoke with the guy who works there about what he would do with it, and then he handed me over to an Italian hair student who spoke no English. Fun!
I tried curling it today. It sort of worked.
Cambridge with Tanya:
Beccy and Ingo's Wedding:
And Royal Ascot:
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Ascot
I don't get it. Why is my blog getting spammed? Every single post gets some nonsense comment from someone. Lame!
I went to Royal Ascot yesterday with old coworkers from the pub. It was so much fun! I saw the Queen live for the first time. It only took me two years of living in this country. I bet £5 on the first race, on a horse called Tiz My Time ridden by a US jockey, picked by name, of course. I won £15 back! I couldn't believe it! After the races, we headed back into town and caught the England football game. It was bo-ho-ring, but I made friends in the pub with an American from Manhattan and an English guy from Devon. Then I ate fish and chips, so I was pretty pleased. Pictures when I can be arsed.
Back to work today. The more shifts I work, the more I hate people. I've never felt that way in any other customer service job I've worked at. I hated my first waitressing job, but I didn't hate people. I think I'm just getting old and set in my ways, and I can't understand how any grown woman, regardless of how wealthy she is, can enter a nice store and throw clothing on the floor for someone else to pick up. Or how you can come into a store with lots of breakables and let your young children run loose. Once, a woman asked one of my coworkers to scold her children for her. Rich people. Ugh.
I went to Royal Ascot yesterday with old coworkers from the pub. It was so much fun! I saw the Queen live for the first time. It only took me two years of living in this country. I bet £5 on the first race, on a horse called Tiz My Time ridden by a US jockey, picked by name, of course. I won £15 back! I couldn't believe it! After the races, we headed back into town and caught the England football game. It was bo-ho-ring, but I made friends in the pub with an American from Manhattan and an English guy from Devon. Then I ate fish and chips, so I was pretty pleased. Pictures when I can be arsed.
Back to work today. The more shifts I work, the more I hate people. I've never felt that way in any other customer service job I've worked at. I hated my first waitressing job, but I didn't hate people. I think I'm just getting old and set in my ways, and I can't understand how any grown woman, regardless of how wealthy she is, can enter a nice store and throw clothing on the floor for someone else to pick up. Or how you can come into a store with lots of breakables and let your young children run loose. Once, a woman asked one of my coworkers to scold her children for her. Rich people. Ugh.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
World Cup
Ugh, I can't be bothered to update, R! I'm just so lazy...
Today, I had a three hours 20 minutes shift at work. Multiply that by £7/hr and that doesn't even cover half of what I spent on clothes today. Oops. It's hardly worth getting dressed and trekking to work. Grr.
Ewan MacGregor's motorcycle buddy was in the shop today. Prince William's girlfriend was in last week. I would not have known either of them if my coworkers hadn't pointed them out.
Ingo's wedding was the weekend before last and it was jolly good fun. The food at the reception was amazing! I danced, of course, because I like dancing. Wanda and Ralph were there, which was really cool because I didn't get to see them at Christmas. Wanda danced as well, but we couldn't convince Ralphy to join in. It was really great seeing Beccy and Ingo again, and I'm glad I got to share their special day with them.
Last weekend marked the start of the World Cup, and I went to a coworker's boyfriend's house for an England vs. USA viewing party. The game was a bit lame and over pretty quickly, but I had a good time at the party. One of my coworker's friends thought I was cute. Score! We're gonna go on a World Cup-watching date next week. My hair has really been working for me lately, and I've been dressing a bit smarter, and I've been meeting guys right and left, so I've really been feeling like hot shit lately. It's nice to have a little boost to the confidence, especially when job hunting is still so depressing. I did contact a PhD student from the school, though, who very very kindly agreed to let me help him with a literature review he's doing this summer (he's probably thrilled he's getting free labor!) so hopefully that will help? I don't know. I just don't know what to do, where to look. I'm a lost toy.
Anyway, should be getting to bed. Lunch with Holly and Alex tomorrow. I haven't seen Alex in probably two months. I was starting to think she didn't love me anymore, but it's probably just her being her usual rubbish-friend self. It'll be good to see them both.
Pictures are on Facebook. I'm too lazy to upload them to Picasa at the moment. Meh.
Today, I had a three hours 20 minutes shift at work. Multiply that by £7/hr and that doesn't even cover half of what I spent on clothes today. Oops. It's hardly worth getting dressed and trekking to work. Grr.
Ewan MacGregor's motorcycle buddy was in the shop today. Prince William's girlfriend was in last week. I would not have known either of them if my coworkers hadn't pointed them out.
Ingo's wedding was the weekend before last and it was jolly good fun. The food at the reception was amazing! I danced, of course, because I like dancing. Wanda and Ralph were there, which was really cool because I didn't get to see them at Christmas. Wanda danced as well, but we couldn't convince Ralphy to join in. It was really great seeing Beccy and Ingo again, and I'm glad I got to share their special day with them.
Last weekend marked the start of the World Cup, and I went to a coworker's boyfriend's house for an England vs. USA viewing party. The game was a bit lame and over pretty quickly, but I had a good time at the party. One of my coworker's friends thought I was cute. Score! We're gonna go on a World Cup-watching date next week. My hair has really been working for me lately, and I've been dressing a bit smarter, and I've been meeting guys right and left, so I've really been feeling like hot shit lately. It's nice to have a little boost to the confidence, especially when job hunting is still so depressing. I did contact a PhD student from the school, though, who very very kindly agreed to let me help him with a literature review he's doing this summer (he's probably thrilled he's getting free labor!) so hopefully that will help? I don't know. I just don't know what to do, where to look. I'm a lost toy.
Anyway, should be getting to bed. Lunch with Holly and Alex tomorrow. I haven't seen Alex in probably two months. I was starting to think she didn't love me anymore, but it's probably just her being her usual rubbish-friend self. It'll be good to see them both.
Pictures are on Facebook. I'm too lazy to upload them to Picasa at the moment. Meh.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Clarity
A couple months ago, I was telling people that part of the reason I was having trouble finding a job was that I didn't really know what I was looking for. I didn't know quite what I wanted, I just had a general idea. But recently I've come to the realization that it's not true anymore, and probably never was. Over the past couple months, I've formed a solid and tangible idea of the job I want. I can describe it in concrete words.
I want to do qualitative, social research related to tuberculosis, preferably in India.
Hm, surprising how that's exactly how I described my ideal summer project more than a year ago. So if I've wanted to do that for over a year, why did I tell countless people that I didn't know what I wanted? Probably for the same reason that I waited until the end of my third year to declare "microbiology" as my undergraduate major, despite having picked it out of a list of majors during orientation, months before I attended my first undergraduate class. There was never any other major that I considered declaring, yet I hesitated to commit myself to microbiology. Why? Because of a ridiculous, inexplicable lack of confidence in myself or in my choices.
A friend asked me the other day why I wasn't looking for a PhD. This question usually makes me shudder and cringe with the thought of a hundred reasons not to do a PhD, but not this time. This time, I stopped and asked myself, "Yeah, why haven't I considered that?" Suddenly, I couldn't come up with a good reason. I should look into a PhD. Yeah, there may be funding issues, but I won't know until I look into it. I should finish my application to the Peace Corps, too. I should continue emailing researchers doing the work I want to do. When they don't respond, I should call them and nag them. I need to be the squeaky wheel and get myself some gosh-darned grease!
I want to do qualitative, social research related to tuberculosis, preferably in India.
Hm, surprising how that's exactly how I described my ideal summer project more than a year ago. So if I've wanted to do that for over a year, why did I tell countless people that I didn't know what I wanted? Probably for the same reason that I waited until the end of my third year to declare "microbiology" as my undergraduate major, despite having picked it out of a list of majors during orientation, months before I attended my first undergraduate class. There was never any other major that I considered declaring, yet I hesitated to commit myself to microbiology. Why? Because of a ridiculous, inexplicable lack of confidence in myself or in my choices.
A friend asked me the other day why I wasn't looking for a PhD. This question usually makes me shudder and cringe with the thought of a hundred reasons not to do a PhD, but not this time. This time, I stopped and asked myself, "Yeah, why haven't I considered that?" Suddenly, I couldn't come up with a good reason. I should look into a PhD. Yeah, there may be funding issues, but I won't know until I look into it. I should finish my application to the Peace Corps, too. I should continue emailing researchers doing the work I want to do. When they don't respond, I should call them and nag them. I need to be the squeaky wheel and get myself some gosh-darned grease!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Every now and then I fall apart
Last week, I stumbled upon a quote in an old notebook:
"Follow your dreams. They know the way."
This, of course, is way easier said than done. While the quote initially made me nod my head and say "yeah! totally!" to myself, that feeling faded as soon as I tried to work out exactly how to follow my dream. Jobs doing social research on tuberculosis in India don't just grow on trees.
A couple years ago, I was bored and disappointed with my life. So I did two things. I started volunteering with some yutes, and I taught myself to knit. Both made me feel loads better. Now again I'm bored and disappointed with my life. I'm really stressing out again and getting depressed, frustrated with work and lack of money. A couple months ago, I applied to be a volunteer with an HIV support organization, and tonight I had my induction ceremony. When I left the building, I was filled with a sense of, I don't know. Rightness. Maybe it was the warm spring air, the sunset, the fact that that particular part of Islington is gorgeous (near where you lived, Rania!), but I felt like I was making a move in the right direction. I was moving in the direction of my next dream, walking through a city that represented the fulfillment of my last dream.
I think I'm gonna be alright.
"Follow your dreams. They know the way."
This, of course, is way easier said than done. While the quote initially made me nod my head and say "yeah! totally!" to myself, that feeling faded as soon as I tried to work out exactly how to follow my dream. Jobs doing social research on tuberculosis in India don't just grow on trees.
A couple years ago, I was bored and disappointed with my life. So I did two things. I started volunteering with some yutes, and I taught myself to knit. Both made me feel loads better. Now again I'm bored and disappointed with my life. I'm really stressing out again and getting depressed, frustrated with work and lack of money. A couple months ago, I applied to be a volunteer with an HIV support organization, and tonight I had my induction ceremony. When I left the building, I was filled with a sense of, I don't know. Rightness. Maybe it was the warm spring air, the sunset, the fact that that particular part of Islington is gorgeous (near where you lived, Rania!), but I felt like I was making a move in the right direction. I was moving in the direction of my next dream, walking through a city that represented the fulfillment of my last dream.
I think I'm gonna be alright.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
British politics
UK politics, eh? I don't really understand what's going on, but I know it's historical and weird. Also, most British people don't really understand what's going on, so I'm not alone. They don't elect their prime minister the way we elect our president. They vote for how the Houses of Parliament will be structured, and whichever party has a majority in Parliament gets to put their man in 10 Downing Street. But what happens when no party gets a majority? They try to form coalitions (like on Survivor when people formed alliances, but still tried to stab each other in the backs). There were three main parties in this election, the Conservatives (right), Labour (middle/left), and the Liberal Democrats (far-left). And which two parties formed the coalition? The two with the least in common, of course!
So the Conservatives (Tories) formed a coalition with the Lib-Dems, a previously pretty small and weak third party. Now the Tory leader, David Cameron, gets to be PM but the Lib-Dem leader, Nick Clegg, gets to be Deputy PM. From what I understand (and I don't understand much), that's pretty groundbreaking. However, being Deputy PM isn't like being Vice President. They don't get to take over if the Prime Minister dies or anything. PMs don't even have to appoint a deputy. Gordon Brown didn't have a Deputy PM. Still, the Lib-Dems should gain some prestige from this, and it's pretty significant that any third party should gain such power. Like the U.S., Britain has been pretty strongly two-partied for a long time now.
It'll be really interesting to see how things pan out as far as compromises are concerned. For example, on the issue of immigration, the Tories and the Lib-Dems take polar opposite stances. Nick Clegg originally advocated for making all illegal immigrants citizens, while the Tories want to round them all up and deport them. (Well, actually, they wouldn't deport them. They'd just put them in high-security prisons indefinitely with no trial or hopes of ever living a normal life.) So yeah. Fun times ahead for Britain!
On a related but separate note, something I find really interesting and kind of funny: two of the biggest criticisms of Barack Obama in the run-up to the election were that he was 1) an elitist and 2) young and inexperienced. I was all for these things. After 8 years of George W. (and facing the prospect of Sarah Palin as second-in-command), I was ready for someone with a brain to be in power. And as a young person, I'm okay with young people with fresh ideas being in charge. In Britain, the Tories are most like Republicans, and Labour is most like the Democrats. But the people here who love Barack Obama, who support Labour or the Lib-Dems, their big criticisms of Tory leader David Cameron are that he is 1) an elitist and 2) young and inexperienced. Funny how that works, huh? The elitist thing is different here, though. Where Barack Obama was called elitist because he's intelligent and educated, despite humble roots, David Cameron is called an elitist because he's the son of rich, powerful people who sent him to the top (elitist) schools. The class system is way more powerful here than in the U.S., and David Cameron definitely belongs to the snooty upper class.
Ok, enough. I will now return to hating and ignoring politics.
So the Conservatives (Tories) formed a coalition with the Lib-Dems, a previously pretty small and weak third party. Now the Tory leader, David Cameron, gets to be PM but the Lib-Dem leader, Nick Clegg, gets to be Deputy PM. From what I understand (and I don't understand much), that's pretty groundbreaking. However, being Deputy PM isn't like being Vice President. They don't get to take over if the Prime Minister dies or anything. PMs don't even have to appoint a deputy. Gordon Brown didn't have a Deputy PM. Still, the Lib-Dems should gain some prestige from this, and it's pretty significant that any third party should gain such power. Like the U.S., Britain has been pretty strongly two-partied for a long time now.
It'll be really interesting to see how things pan out as far as compromises are concerned. For example, on the issue of immigration, the Tories and the Lib-Dems take polar opposite stances. Nick Clegg originally advocated for making all illegal immigrants citizens, while the Tories want to round them all up and deport them. (Well, actually, they wouldn't deport them. They'd just put them in high-security prisons indefinitely with no trial or hopes of ever living a normal life.) So yeah. Fun times ahead for Britain!
On a related but separate note, something I find really interesting and kind of funny: two of the biggest criticisms of Barack Obama in the run-up to the election were that he was 1) an elitist and 2) young and inexperienced. I was all for these things. After 8 years of George W. (and facing the prospect of Sarah Palin as second-in-command), I was ready for someone with a brain to be in power. And as a young person, I'm okay with young people with fresh ideas being in charge. In Britain, the Tories are most like Republicans, and Labour is most like the Democrats. But the people here who love Barack Obama, who support Labour or the Lib-Dems, their big criticisms of Tory leader David Cameron are that he is 1) an elitist and 2) young and inexperienced. Funny how that works, huh? The elitist thing is different here, though. Where Barack Obama was called elitist because he's intelligent and educated, despite humble roots, David Cameron is called an elitist because he's the son of rich, powerful people who sent him to the top (elitist) schools. The class system is way more powerful here than in the U.S., and David Cameron definitely belongs to the snooty upper class.
Ok, enough. I will now return to hating and ignoring politics.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Chin ups
Dude, what is with all the spam comments? Ugh. Anyway, I suppose it's about time I updated again. *bored eye roll*
Hm, so...I bought a bike a week and a half ago. It's a piece of junk and I paid way too much for it, but it's a really pretty blue and is one of those curvy beach-cruiser shapes, which I LOVE! Sadly, the seat post seems to be rusted in place so I can't lower the seat to a comfortable height. Alas.
I had a phone interview for an internship in Uganda last week. I didn't do very well. They said they'd let me know by the end of last week but I still haven't heard from them. I think that's a no...
I've been made till specialist at work, which is pretty cool. It means more responsibility for the same amount of pay. And they're not going to be giving me more hours. Hm. Why did I want this again? Oh well, it'll look good on the ol' resume, and I think it'll be kind of fun.
Hm, I feel like there was something else I was going to write about, but now I can't remember. Oh well. Back to job hunting, a.k.a. the most soul-destroying, confidence-shattering activity known to man.
Hm, so...I bought a bike a week and a half ago. It's a piece of junk and I paid way too much for it, but it's a really pretty blue and is one of those curvy beach-cruiser shapes, which I LOVE! Sadly, the seat post seems to be rusted in place so I can't lower the seat to a comfortable height. Alas.
I had a phone interview for an internship in Uganda last week. I didn't do very well. They said they'd let me know by the end of last week but I still haven't heard from them. I think that's a no...
I've been made till specialist at work, which is pretty cool. It means more responsibility for the same amount of pay. And they're not going to be giving me more hours. Hm. Why did I want this again? Oh well, it'll look good on the ol' resume, and I think it'll be kind of fun.
Hm, I feel like there was something else I was going to write about, but now I can't remember. Oh well. Back to job hunting, a.k.a. the most soul-destroying, confidence-shattering activity known to man.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My first celebrity sighting
Bob Geldof came into the shop today. I didn't even catch a glimpse of him cuz I'm useless. Apparently he told Elin, the sweetest girl in the world, that our walky-talkies make us look stupid. Yes, that's right, we wear walky-talkies around the shop.
But that's nothing. This weekend, I went to a pub in Chalk Farm with Holly, Tanya, Simon and James. I walked out onto the patio to find us a table in the sun, and as I was glancing around, I noticed a guy who looked kind of like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl (except way more tan). I was like, "Nah, it can't be him. All these women on the patio are giving him a wide berth and acting completely normal. Must just be a look-alike."
But it did look a lot like him, so I kept stealing glances back at him (read: trying not to be obvious about the fact that I was staring at him.) It was him. No doubt in my mind. The same crooked teeth, lips, and eyebrows. The overwhelming cockiness in his posture. It was so him. Knowing that I had drinks at a pub that *Chuck Bass* (can't be bothered to look up his real name) goes to makes me feel like I could almost sort of a little bit be mistaken for a cool person. Almost.
But that's nothing. This weekend, I went to a pub in Chalk Farm with Holly, Tanya, Simon and James. I walked out onto the patio to find us a table in the sun, and as I was glancing around, I noticed a guy who looked kind of like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl (except way more tan). I was like, "Nah, it can't be him. All these women on the patio are giving him a wide berth and acting completely normal. Must just be a look-alike."
But it did look a lot like him, so I kept stealing glances back at him (read: trying not to be obvious about the fact that I was staring at him.) It was him. No doubt in my mind. The same crooked teeth, lips, and eyebrows. The overwhelming cockiness in his posture. It was so him. Knowing that I had drinks at a pub that *Chuck Bass* (can't be bothered to look up his real name) goes to makes me feel like I could almost sort of a little bit be mistaken for a cool person. Almost.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Birthday presents!
From Simon: Vladimir, the coolest cane EVER! Check out the crazy eyes going in opposite directions!
From Holly: Cath Kidston sneakers! There's a reason I listed this girl as my significant other.
From Izzi and Tim: super cute purse and tea cups with too-short spoons
From Mel (flatmate): headband and jewelry
From Carina: words can not describe the wonderfulness of this necklace
From Alex: pretty swallow necklace
From Maya: weird but awesome coconut purse
From John and Becky: Vampire Weekend and The Power of Now
From James: The xx and Mos Def
From Ross and Sandra: heirloom quality pearl necklace (!!!!!) and bonus black pearl earrings
Thank you thank you thank you everyone for the wonderful and awesome birthday presents! Those of you who are nearly a month late in sending me my goodies are losers. Though to be fair, I'm greedy and selfish, so I guess I shouldn't sling too much mud your way.
From Holly: Cath Kidston sneakers! There's a reason I listed this girl as my significant other.
From Izzi and Tim: super cute purse and tea cups with too-short spoons
From Mel (flatmate): headband and jewelry
From Carina: words can not describe the wonderfulness of this necklace
From Alex: pretty swallow necklace
From Maya: weird but awesome coconut purse
From John and Becky: Vampire Weekend and The Power of Now
From James: The xx and Mos Def
From Ross and Sandra: heirloom quality pearl necklace (!!!!!) and bonus black pearl earrings
Thank you thank you thank you everyone for the wonderful and awesome birthday presents! Those of you who are nearly a month late in sending me my goodies are losers. Though to be fair, I'm greedy and selfish, so I guess I shouldn't sling too much mud your way.
Things that make me happy
Beautiful, beautiful day! Days, actually! Yesterday was warm and gorgeous, so I decided to run some errands and check out the steam fair that was going on in Hammersmith. It was a little tiny carnival with antique (but refurbished) rides all run by steam engines. They were really beautifully painted. There was a "Wall of Death" that totally took me back to Jinja, Uganda, where we attended a carnival and climbed high onto a very rickety structure to gaze down on an elderly Indian man riding a motorcycle horizontally around the circular wooden structure we were standing on. I was sure the whole thing was gonna collapse and we were all gonna die, motorcycles or not. The one in Hammersmith looked much safer. They also had a little arcade with antique penny-slot games that was so so cool! I paid £1 for 8 tokens and won more tokens a couple times, so got to play quite a few of them. I paid one token to learn about future events in my life, and another for a creepy fortune teller lady in a box to tell my fortune (which was not a fortune at all, but just a description of my personality...and not even really my personality.) It was awesome. Annoyingly, I forgot my camera so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Today was another beautiful day, and I got to spend it with Tanya and Carina! I wagered on it being warm (definitely hit 70 degrees!) so decided it was high time for my legs to reacquaint themselves with Mr. Sunshine. Skin really doesn't get much paler than this.
We had breakfast behind Borough Market, then headed over to Shakespeare's Globe for the Bard's birthday celebrations. It was mostly activities for children, but don't you think that would stop we three grown-up ladies, no sirree! Carina took a crack at Anne Bowling (ha ha! Get it? Anne Boleyn?) which she did horribly at, so I'm curious how any child was expected to win. Then we took a picture with a bear and tried to guess its name (no, it was not Lady Macbear). Then we added our ingredients to a witch's brew, which involved writing nasty-sounding things on post-it notes and sticking it to a wall. I put "ogre's earwax." Carina, ignoring my vehement protests, put "syphilitic pus." She was supported in this decision by Tanya, who is usually the prudish, responsible, innocent one in the group (yes, even compared to me!) She supported it on the grounds that it would be educational for the young kiddies to learn about STDs. Usually, I love that all my friends are crazy about infectious diseases and we can have ridiculous conversations about pertussis and herpes in public places, but there has to be a line somewhere.
Anyhoo, we watched some volunteers of all ages makes fools of themselves acting out lines from the Scottish play on stage. We tapped our fingers against our palms to simulate rain and cackled like witches when directed to do so. When we left, we dropped pennies into the Globe support bucket and were offered cheery red flags. Carina, possibly because she'd spent too much time around small children, decided to act like a petulant child and refused the flag, instead demanding a poster and a gold star. Luckily, the man handing them out was a good sport and unpeeled the large gold star sticker, asking, "And where would you like it?" As it was quite big, the only practical place for it to go was her chest, so this was a bit of a PG-13 question. Then we sat out in the sun for ages drinking Pimms (first Pimms of the year! woot woot!) and pear cider. A friend of Carina's, named James joined us (Tanya: "What is with all the Jameses? I feel like people should know there are other names out there!") and we pretty much spent the entire day drinking and sunning, with a bit of pie eating and book browsing thrown in for good measure. Tanya gave me a pink and blue rhino from Tanzania, and we all decided he should be named Winston.
It was pretty much the best day ever.
Today was another beautiful day, and I got to spend it with Tanya and Carina! I wagered on it being warm (definitely hit 70 degrees!) so decided it was high time for my legs to reacquaint themselves with Mr. Sunshine. Skin really doesn't get much paler than this.
We had breakfast behind Borough Market, then headed over to Shakespeare's Globe for the Bard's birthday celebrations. It was mostly activities for children, but don't you think that would stop we three grown-up ladies, no sirree! Carina took a crack at Anne Bowling (ha ha! Get it? Anne Boleyn?) which she did horribly at, so I'm curious how any child was expected to win. Then we took a picture with a bear and tried to guess its name (no, it was not Lady Macbear). Then we added our ingredients to a witch's brew, which involved writing nasty-sounding things on post-it notes and sticking it to a wall. I put "ogre's earwax." Carina, ignoring my vehement protests, put "syphilitic pus." She was supported in this decision by Tanya, who is usually the prudish, responsible, innocent one in the group (yes, even compared to me!) She supported it on the grounds that it would be educational for the young kiddies to learn about STDs. Usually, I love that all my friends are crazy about infectious diseases and we can have ridiculous conversations about pertussis and herpes in public places, but there has to be a line somewhere.
Anyhoo, we watched some volunteers of all ages makes fools of themselves acting out lines from the Scottish play on stage. We tapped our fingers against our palms to simulate rain and cackled like witches when directed to do so. When we left, we dropped pennies into the Globe support bucket and were offered cheery red flags. Carina, possibly because she'd spent too much time around small children, decided to act like a petulant child and refused the flag, instead demanding a poster and a gold star. Luckily, the man handing them out was a good sport and unpeeled the large gold star sticker, asking, "And where would you like it?" As it was quite big, the only practical place for it to go was her chest, so this was a bit of a PG-13 question. Then we sat out in the sun for ages drinking Pimms (first Pimms of the year! woot woot!) and pear cider. A friend of Carina's, named James joined us (Tanya: "What is with all the Jameses? I feel like people should know there are other names out there!") and we pretty much spent the entire day drinking and sunning, with a bit of pie eating and book browsing thrown in for good measure. Tanya gave me a pink and blue rhino from Tanzania, and we all decided he should be named Winston.
It was pretty much the best day ever.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Perspective
Thanks for all the words of encouragement, guys. I'm feeling much better this evening. I don't know why some days it is impossible to think positive thoughts, and other days it's easy. Today, it's easy.
I will get a job, and it'll be a good one. And I'm not gonna worry too much about money at the moment. Stressing about whether I'll have money in the future when I have money right now is kinda silly. Obviously, I should be wise about my spending, but I should enjoy life while I can! Tanya came back from Tanzania today (YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!) and I went to meet her at Paddington station. They almost didn't let her back into the country! She's Canadian and her visa expired in January, but she was in Tanzania already so couldn't renew it. Since she has been working for the school and earning pounds during this time, this puts her in a bit of a gray zone. Border control took her passport and said, "I have to check this with my boss." In the end, they decided to let her back in (she's only staying for six weeks anyway) because the work she was doing was noble and helping Africa. Anyway, we sat in the train station eating Burger King and talking about boys (yes, we haven't seen each other in three months and that's all we could think to talk about). Then she asked if I wanted to go to Italy for a weekend. I've never been to Italy. I've wanted to go for a while. Tanya speaks Italian (in addition to English and French). But when she asked, I got really sad and stressed and was like, "Uuuuhhhhh, I don't know..." I don't know? I DON'T KNOW??? When will I get another chance to go to Italy? With a good friend, who speaks Italian? I've been fantasizing about the south of France for weeks! Of course I'll go to Italy with you, Tantan! Let's go tomorrow!
I will get a job, and it'll be a good one. And I'm not gonna worry too much about money at the moment. Stressing about whether I'll have money in the future when I have money right now is kinda silly. Obviously, I should be wise about my spending, but I should enjoy life while I can! Tanya came back from Tanzania today (YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!) and I went to meet her at Paddington station. They almost didn't let her back into the country! She's Canadian and her visa expired in January, but she was in Tanzania already so couldn't renew it. Since she has been working for the school and earning pounds during this time, this puts her in a bit of a gray zone. Border control took her passport and said, "I have to check this with my boss." In the end, they decided to let her back in (she's only staying for six weeks anyway) because the work she was doing was noble and helping Africa. Anyway, we sat in the train station eating Burger King and talking about boys (yes, we haven't seen each other in three months and that's all we could think to talk about). Then she asked if I wanted to go to Italy for a weekend. I've never been to Italy. I've wanted to go for a while. Tanya speaks Italian (in addition to English and French). But when she asked, I got really sad and stressed and was like, "Uuuuhhhhh, I don't know..." I don't know? I DON'T KNOW??? When will I get another chance to go to Italy? With a good friend, who speaks Italian? I've been fantasizing about the south of France for weeks! Of course I'll go to Italy with you, Tantan! Let's go tomorrow!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Disappointment
My quest for positivity has been put on indefinite hold. I came home to an email from the job I really wanted in Glasgow. After careful consideration, my application has not been successful. Actually, the exact wording is that I have not been successful.
I've received this email so many times and worded so many ways, I feel useless and unwanted. The world has no place for me. It doesn't need me. Goodness knows Brand A will continue makings oodles of money without me.
I don't understand what I have to do to get a flipping interview! I'm so angry and frustrated.
I really really feel like giving up, but of course, that's impossible. Or rather, it would require going into default on my student loans and eventually starving to death. Which, I'll be honest, sounds sort of appealing, at least in a romantic bohemian sort of way. I could contract tuberculosis and die a slow, painful, and poverty-ridden death like the chick in La Boheme, probably minus the charming young lad writing poetry to my beauty.
My first student loan payment was due yesterday. $747.41. And it's past due, because I made the payment yesterday but it takes two days to process. My first payment and I'm already delinquent.
I just have no hope left. I told Holly on Sunday that I wanted this job, but had no hope of getting it. I have no hope of getting any relevant or interesting or even remotely lucrative job. For the past few months, I've become convinced that something's gotta give, but I don't even believe that anymore.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. The plan was to go buy much-needed Clinique concealer, but now I feel like I can't justify any expenditure. Employee appreciation starts Thursday and there's a pile of things I need/want to buy...Ok, I have to stop thinking about this.
Alright, I have reached phase two of disappointment: determination. Phase one involves pathetically feeling sorry for myself and crying a lot. Phase two is where I get down to business and try to fix what I can. Phase two was kickstarted by an email from an international development job website listing recently added jobs. I have no recollection of signing up for this service, and yet here it is in my inbox, at exactly the moment when I'm feeling hopeless. Divine intervention? Sure, why not?
I've received this email so many times and worded so many ways, I feel useless and unwanted. The world has no place for me. It doesn't need me. Goodness knows Brand A will continue makings oodles of money without me.
I don't understand what I have to do to get a flipping interview! I'm so angry and frustrated.
I really really feel like giving up, but of course, that's impossible. Or rather, it would require going into default on my student loans and eventually starving to death. Which, I'll be honest, sounds sort of appealing, at least in a romantic bohemian sort of way. I could contract tuberculosis and die a slow, painful, and poverty-ridden death like the chick in La Boheme, probably minus the charming young lad writing poetry to my beauty.
My first student loan payment was due yesterday. $747.41. And it's past due, because I made the payment yesterday but it takes two days to process. My first payment and I'm already delinquent.
I just have no hope left. I told Holly on Sunday that I wanted this job, but had no hope of getting it. I have no hope of getting any relevant or interesting or even remotely lucrative job. For the past few months, I've become convinced that something's gotta give, but I don't even believe that anymore.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. The plan was to go buy much-needed Clinique concealer, but now I feel like I can't justify any expenditure. Employee appreciation starts Thursday and there's a pile of things I need/want to buy...Ok, I have to stop thinking about this.
Alright, I have reached phase two of disappointment: determination. Phase one involves pathetically feeling sorry for myself and crying a lot. Phase two is where I get down to business and try to fix what I can. Phase two was kickstarted by an email from an international development job website listing recently added jobs. I have no recollection of signing up for this service, and yet here it is in my inbox, at exactly the moment when I'm feeling hopeless. Divine intervention? Sure, why not?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Weekend
I haven't updated since my birthday, which was fun! I had a lovely dinner with my nearest and dearest on the Thursday. On the Saturday, Carina and her flatmates threw one of their mental house parties. It was...eventful. Everyone kissing everyone else, people vomitting on other people's beds, etc. Good clean fun. Pictures of my wonderful birthday presents to follow!
Last weekend was sort of odd. Good Friday was a bank holiday in the UK. I had to work, of course, but they offered to let me go home early and I jumped at the opportunity. I only found out later that they were paying us time and a half. D'oh! Anyway, one of the guys I went on a date with, the one who was too chicken to ask me for my number, he was having a pub day to celebrate the day off (the best way the English can think of to spend their free time.) So I went over to that, since James and his new girlfriend were there as well. Weirdness number one: I got asked out to dinner by a 40-year-old, overweight, self-proclaimed bipolar lesbian. I was flattered when she called me hot, but really did not know how to handle that. As for the date guy, by the end of the night, I had decided he was actually quite sweet and I should give him a proper chance, despite not really being attracted to him. I went to get late night curry with him and some of his friends, and eventually conversation turned to his sex life. Apparently, he's currently sleeping with a coworker four nights a week. They also discussed his top five list of objects he likes to use during sex, to insert...places. I left dinner feeling confused, annoyed, and like I'd dodged a bullet. We clearly misjudged each other, if I thought he was sweet and he thought I was...that kind of girl. Blech!
So nothing going anywhere with any boys, but I'm okay with that. I can wait for someone who suits me better. Besides, at the moment, I'm far more concerned about finding a job. Uuuuuuuggghhh.
Easter was nice. I hung out with James and we went for a walk along the canal in beautiful weather! Everytime I pass see canal boats in London, I think of Grandma and Grandpa telling me on at least three different occasions about the PBS special they watched on canal boats in England. "Did you know there are over 800 miles of canal in England?" "Yes, Grandpa..."
I got new contact lenses today, as I dropped my last one down the sink hole last week. I like the way I look in my glasses, but they aren't quite right and I haven't really grown accustomed to them. The optician today said they weren't correcting my astygmatism. Why the eye doctor in Bothell gave me a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription that didn't correct my astygmatism, I'll never understand. Moron.
Anyhoo, gotta run to eat and get to work. And try to apply for a job somewhere in between!
Last weekend was sort of odd. Good Friday was a bank holiday in the UK. I had to work, of course, but they offered to let me go home early and I jumped at the opportunity. I only found out later that they were paying us time and a half. D'oh! Anyway, one of the guys I went on a date with, the one who was too chicken to ask me for my number, he was having a pub day to celebrate the day off (the best way the English can think of to spend their free time.) So I went over to that, since James and his new girlfriend were there as well. Weirdness number one: I got asked out to dinner by a 40-year-old, overweight, self-proclaimed bipolar lesbian. I was flattered when she called me hot, but really did not know how to handle that. As for the date guy, by the end of the night, I had decided he was actually quite sweet and I should give him a proper chance, despite not really being attracted to him. I went to get late night curry with him and some of his friends, and eventually conversation turned to his sex life. Apparently, he's currently sleeping with a coworker four nights a week. They also discussed his top five list of objects he likes to use during sex, to insert...places. I left dinner feeling confused, annoyed, and like I'd dodged a bullet. We clearly misjudged each other, if I thought he was sweet and he thought I was...that kind of girl. Blech!
So nothing going anywhere with any boys, but I'm okay with that. I can wait for someone who suits me better. Besides, at the moment, I'm far more concerned about finding a job. Uuuuuuuggghhh.
Easter was nice. I hung out with James and we went for a walk along the canal in beautiful weather! Everytime I pass see canal boats in London, I think of Grandma and Grandpa telling me on at least three different occasions about the PBS special they watched on canal boats in England. "Did you know there are over 800 miles of canal in England?" "Yes, Grandpa..."
I got new contact lenses today, as I dropped my last one down the sink hole last week. I like the way I look in my glasses, but they aren't quite right and I haven't really grown accustomed to them. The optician today said they weren't correcting my astygmatism. Why the eye doctor in Bothell gave me a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription that didn't correct my astygmatism, I'll never understand. Moron.
Anyhoo, gotta run to eat and get to work. And try to apply for a job somewhere in between!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Gentlemen prefer...me!
New goal: apply for at least one job per day on my days off. So far, so good. Applied for a job yesterday in Washington, D.C. I'm not that keen on moving to D.C., but I should put myself out there and see what happens. It would be a TB advocacy job; in fact, the same job I applied for back in November in London (which my friend, Aparna, got). It's for the same organization and everything, just in a different country. Then today, I was looking at jobs in Scotland and found an entry-level job that would train me to do exactly what I want to do (social science research)! Everybody cross your fingers for that one!
You may now call me Diplomat Kusems. Graduation was Saturday and it was good, but I was sad that I actually didn't get to spend much time with anyone other than Carina (though I adore Carina, so I was happy to be with her). Her mom and brother came and adopted me for the day, so we went for champagne near school, then a really fancy steak dinner in Fitzrovia. By dessert (cheese board!), I was three sheets to the wind. Then we went to the pub that had been designated as our class meet-up point for the evening, and no one was there! So instead, we went to Carina's friend's birthday drinks in Holborn.
So I mentioned the guy who was too chicken to ask for my number. Well, I agreed to go on a date with him, to give him a chance since I had no other romantic prospects. That date is tonight. But after graduation on Saturday, I met a very cute boy from Boston. We went out last night to see "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (so funny!) and I had a really good time. I quite like this boy. I feel a bit bad for the guy tonight, because I'm going to have to let him down. I just think it's funny that I haven't been on a date in...longer than I want to admit, and now I have two in one week. Life is funny sometimes. Funny, but good.
BTW, I highly recommend Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, although I don't understand why they called it that. The brunette in the film gets just as much attention as Marilyn Monroe's character and they both do very well for themselves. Anyway, see it. It's cute!
You may now call me Diplomat Kusems. Graduation was Saturday and it was good, but I was sad that I actually didn't get to spend much time with anyone other than Carina (though I adore Carina, so I was happy to be with her). Her mom and brother came and adopted me for the day, so we went for champagne near school, then a really fancy steak dinner in Fitzrovia. By dessert (cheese board!), I was three sheets to the wind. Then we went to the pub that had been designated as our class meet-up point for the evening, and no one was there! So instead, we went to Carina's friend's birthday drinks in Holborn.
BTW, I highly recommend Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, although I don't understand why they called it that. The brunette in the film gets just as much attention as Marilyn Monroe's character and they both do very well for themselves. Anyway, see it. It's cute!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
News!!!
So much to say! First off:
I HAVE BEEN GRANTED LEAVE TO REMAIN IN THE UK UNTIL 5 MARCH 2012!!!! Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!! (Also, the Royal Mail didn't lose my passport! Good work, guys!)
To celebrate, I stopped into T.K. Maxx to look for a belt (yes, that's a K and not a J; not entirely sure why they felt T.J. wasn't appropriate for the UK, or that T.K. wasn't appropriate for the US). Working at Brand A has made me obsessed with shopping, partly because I'm surrounded by gorgeous things that I can't have, and partly because I actually have to look nice and fashionable all the time, something my wardrobe has never had to contend with before. It needs just a touch of updating. So I bought a puka shell necklace, two shirts, and a weird but awesome knit belt from some charity shops yesterday.
£3.50 necklace£6 top
£4.50 top
£1.99 beltThen, at T.K. Maxx, I fell hopelessly, head over heels in love with a pair of shoes. Luckily, since they were in T.K. Maxx, they were not nearly as expensive as they would have been originally. Still, I did essentially spend the rest of my budget for the week on them (meant to last through Sunday). It's worth it, though. My love for these shoes is whole and complete, undeniable and unconditional. I can only hope I'll one day find a man about whom I feel the same way, but for now, I will concentrate my adoration on these shoes.
£24.99 shoesAlso, bought a purple belt to go with my newish £10 Urban Outfitters dress.
£7.99 belt (more than I wanted to spend, but I likedit more than anything else I've seen, so oh well)
Photos from Decades party
Finally posting photos from the Decades party that took place weeks ago.
Maya in James's tweed jacket
James, looking a bit like Mark Twain
Someone borrows my camera to take pictures of people I don't really know...
And at the end of the night, I take a picture of my outfit because I realize that I forgot to do it before or during the party. This photo is minus one string of fake pearls, purchased for a pound at Primark, which broke during the party (the boy who is the love of my life, except that he's not interested in me and is dating someone else, helped me collect all the pearls off the floor; sigh...) I think the 20s suit me quite well. This party was the first time in my life that I felt like I was one of the prettiest girls in the room. I *heart* this dress ever so much. (Thanks for buying it for me, Ross and Sandra!!!)
I mean, really, how could he resist this???
Maya in James's tweed jacket
James, looking a bit like Mark Twain
Someone borrows my camera to take pictures of people I don't really know...
And at the end of the night, I take a picture of my outfit because I realize that I forgot to do it before or during the party. This photo is minus one string of fake pearls, purchased for a pound at Primark, which broke during the party (the boy who is the love of my life, except that he's not interested in me and is dating someone else, helped me collect all the pearls off the floor; sigh...) I think the 20s suit me quite well. This party was the first time in my life that I felt like I was one of the prettiest girls in the room. I *heart* this dress ever so much. (Thanks for buying it for me, Ross and Sandra!!!)
I mean, really, how could he resist this???
Nerve-wracking!
My passport and potentially new, two-year visa (or rejection letter, but I'm thinking positive) arrived yesterday, but there was no one home to sign for it, so it got taken back to the mail distribution center. Rather than try to deliver it again today, which would have been awesome because I'm actually home today, they have reabsorbed it into the mysterious abyss that is the Royal Mail. This terrifies me because Alex has had numerous packages lost because of this very same scenario (though Alex is followed around by a vortex of bad luck, so maybe this won't happen to me?) I have to wait 48 hours before I can go to the distribution center and pick it up. This makes me very, very nervous. Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh.
Everybody cross your fingers and pray that my passport (and potentially, visa) don't disappear into nothingness but are returned into my loving hands within 48 hours.
Everybody cross your fingers and pray that my passport (and potentially, visa) don't disappear into nothingness but are returned into my loving hands within 48 hours.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Chelsea and wellness
Chelsea is like a different world. It's the nicest, most expensive part of London and people there are...well, different. The other morning, I had breakfast in Starbucks before my shift, and a group of school boys, probably 13 years old and all wearing matching riding gear, trotted down the main road on horses, led by their teacher. Horses!! In the middle of London, nowhere near a park!
The NHS (National Health Service) has come out with a series of advertisements (because apparently, people in this country don't use the free health service enough as it is?) I was particularly amused by a sign I saw on a bus the other night:
"Choking. Chest pain. Blacking out. Blood loss.
For symptoms of serious illness, and major accidents, choose A&E or 999 [the ER or 911]."
Everyone criticizes Americans for being dumb and uneducated, but the citizens of this country have to be told in bus ads to go the hospital when seriously injured! Who, when choking or bleeding profusely, doesn't think, "Maybe I should call emergency personnel?" And what kind of country has to advertise national health care? The posters might as well cry in block letters, "And don't forget, IT'S FREE!!! PLEASE USE US!"
The mind reels.
The NHS (National Health Service) has come out with a series of advertisements (because apparently, people in this country don't use the free health service enough as it is?) I was particularly amused by a sign I saw on a bus the other night:
"Choking. Chest pain. Blacking out. Blood loss.
For symptoms of serious illness, and major accidents, choose A&E or 999 [the ER or 911]."
Everyone criticizes Americans for being dumb and uneducated, but the citizens of this country have to be told in bus ads to go the hospital when seriously injured! Who, when choking or bleeding profusely, doesn't think, "Maybe I should call emergency personnel?" And what kind of country has to advertise national health care? The posters might as well cry in block letters, "And don't forget, IT'S FREE!!! PLEASE USE US!"
The mind reels.
Monday, March 08, 2010
...and saboteur
I didn't get the lab job. I kind of sabotaged the interview by not lying and giving them the answers I knew they wanted to hear. I sat with them and they described the job and my heart filled with dread. I would be doing very similar work to what I did before, and I got bored out of my mind with that. They asked why I was applying for a lab-based job when my degree was more epidemiology based, and I replied that I was applying for everything. They asked where I saw myself in the future and I responded that I didn't know. In my head, I was thinking "Hopefully not in your lab!" They gave me a tour of the lab, a typical mo bio lab, and I asked myself when I walked in, "Do you want to be back here? Do you feel the urge to pick up a pipetter and get to work?" The answer was a very unconvincing, "Maybe I could get back into it?"
So I'm relieved they didn't offer it to me. I know I can't afford to shun anything right now, but my heart can't afford to continue not doing what I want to do. I don't want to get sidetracked yet again from what I want to be doing. That is, of course, still a sort of nebulous idea, what I want to be doing, but I think it's mostly still nebulous because I lack the confidence to commit to it. I want to live, at least for a little while, in a developing country and do field research. There. That's what I want. I almost had an offer to go to Cambodia and do tuberculosis research (unpaid), but it was cruelly yanked away not long after. It would have been perfect, so it's lame that it fell through, but at least now I know what I consider "perfect." I have something to pursue.
Speaking of which, I should quit blogging and get back to the pursuit. Actually, I should quit blogging and go to sleep. Was at a house party last night and only got 5 hours. I think I'm almost old enough that I care more about sleep than socializing. Not quite, though. The house party was weird. It was a friend of a friend, and few people knew each other but the hostesses didn't make any introductions at all. So people only talked to the people they knew. There was no intermingling whatsoever. I went with James and I knew no one else. James spent half the time setting up the music playlist and I stood around looking helpless and awkward, waiting for somebody, anybody to talk to me. No one did, so I finally left and as I was leaving, I was cornered by a girl called Mary and a guy called Nathan. Mary was quite drunk and kept insisting that I stay, that no one has to work on Sundays, that work wouldn't miss me in the slightest if I failed to show up. Finally she changed tack and insisted that I'm come for Sunday roast with her family sometime. "They do the most amazing roasts! Our gravy is like an heirloom!" (She meant the recipe, not an actual heirloom jar of gravy.) "You must give me your number!" she insisted. I did so, assuming that she would be too drunk to remember any of this conversation and would never contact me.
So it was much a surprise to me when I received a text today, not from Mary, but from Nathan, who hopes I don't mind that Mary gave him my number and would I like to go for a drink sometime?
!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was all a set-up! Family roast. Pah! Heirloom gravy! They must have thought I was a right fool. She was just playing wing-man for a coward! Now I don't know what to say because I'm totally not interested. Ugh, have to figure that one out.
I had a really nice day with James prior to the party. It was my first Saturday off in absolute ages and I wanted to go to Portabello Road market. It was James's first time. I bought a pocket watch necklace (it was my intention to buy one) and also impulsively bought "The Poisonwood Bible" and "Diary of a Provincial Lady" for £2.50 each. I started reading "Diary" once at Holly's and it was really funny. Then we went to one of James's favorite cd shops and I bought M.I.A.'s first album for £3 and a Fats Domino 2-cd set for £1. I love buying used stuff for really cheap! It makes me happy. The happiness was slightly deflated, though, when I got home and realized Sara gave me M.I.A.'s first album ages ago, and it's been sitting dormant on my computer ever since. Whoops!
So I'm relieved they didn't offer it to me. I know I can't afford to shun anything right now, but my heart can't afford to continue not doing what I want to do. I don't want to get sidetracked yet again from what I want to be doing. That is, of course, still a sort of nebulous idea, what I want to be doing, but I think it's mostly still nebulous because I lack the confidence to commit to it. I want to live, at least for a little while, in a developing country and do field research. There. That's what I want. I almost had an offer to go to Cambodia and do tuberculosis research (unpaid), but it was cruelly yanked away not long after. It would have been perfect, so it's lame that it fell through, but at least now I know what I consider "perfect." I have something to pursue.
Speaking of which, I should quit blogging and get back to the pursuit. Actually, I should quit blogging and go to sleep. Was at a house party last night and only got 5 hours. I think I'm almost old enough that I care more about sleep than socializing. Not quite, though. The house party was weird. It was a friend of a friend, and few people knew each other but the hostesses didn't make any introductions at all. So people only talked to the people they knew. There was no intermingling whatsoever. I went with James and I knew no one else. James spent half the time setting up the music playlist and I stood around looking helpless and awkward, waiting for somebody, anybody to talk to me. No one did, so I finally left and as I was leaving, I was cornered by a girl called Mary and a guy called Nathan. Mary was quite drunk and kept insisting that I stay, that no one has to work on Sundays, that work wouldn't miss me in the slightest if I failed to show up. Finally she changed tack and insisted that I'm come for Sunday roast with her family sometime. "They do the most amazing roasts! Our gravy is like an heirloom!" (She meant the recipe, not an actual heirloom jar of gravy.) "You must give me your number!" she insisted. I did so, assuming that she would be too drunk to remember any of this conversation and would never contact me.
So it was much a surprise to me when I received a text today, not from Mary, but from Nathan, who hopes I don't mind that Mary gave him my number and would I like to go for a drink sometime?
!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was all a set-up! Family roast. Pah! Heirloom gravy! They must have thought I was a right fool. She was just playing wing-man for a coward! Now I don't know what to say because I'm totally not interested. Ugh, have to figure that one out.
I had a really nice day with James prior to the party. It was my first Saturday off in absolute ages and I wanted to go to Portabello Road market. It was James's first time. I bought a pocket watch necklace (it was my intention to buy one) and also impulsively bought "The Poisonwood Bible" and "Diary of a Provincial Lady" for £2.50 each. I started reading "Diary" once at Holly's and it was really funny. Then we went to one of James's favorite cd shops and I bought M.I.A.'s first album for £3 and a Fats Domino 2-cd set for £1. I love buying used stuff for really cheap! It makes me happy. The happiness was slightly deflated, though, when I got home and realized Sara gave me M.I.A.'s first album ages ago, and it's been sitting dormant on my computer ever since. Whoops!
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Quitter
So, I've quit the pub job. Saturday night, I didn't sleep well because I was stressing about how I was gonna juggle two part-time jobs with odd hours. I want to give Brand A all of my availability because I don't want to limit the number of hours I get there. By Sunday morning, I had decided to quit, but was gonna save it for Monday morning. I was gonna tell them that I'd be happy to pick up shifts when I wasn't scheduled at the new job. Then I went to work Sunday, and the head chef berated me and insulted my intelligence. And it was for something that I hadn't even done. I welled up with tears and everyone saw it, all my coworkers, both my managers, the guy I have a crush on, probably some of my customers. I mean, they all sympathize with me and think the chef is a douche bag (except that British people don't know what a douche bag is), but I'm still embarrassed because no one else cries when he shouts at them. Just me.
When I got home Sunday night, I took a bath (shower's broken) and cried some more. This isn't completely surprising because I've been really tired and a bit burned out lately, and I always cry at the drop of a hat when I'm tired. I was in the bath, crying, debating whether I need the money badly enough to continue working at the pub. And I decided that the money isn't worth being verbally abused, and that it's time to move on with my life. No sooner had I thought this then a Bible story popped into my head, the one where Jesus tells his disciples that if any city doesn't welcome them, they should dust the dirt of the city off their sandals as they leave. I've never been much of an evangelical Christian; I've never tried to convert anyone, but I try to live a life that follows Christ's wisdom. I treat everyone with respect, I'm sweet to everyone, even when they're assholes, and so I don't think it's too much to ask that people return the favor. Anyway, cheesy story short, I quit. I haven't offered to pick up shifts. I might at some point offer this, but not just yet. I gave one week's notice, but since I'd already requested off the next two weeks, my last day is today. And the head chef is on vacation, so I don't have to deal with him. Sigh of relief.
Tomorrow, I start the new job and get to have roast with Izzi, so things are looking up!
When I got home Sunday night, I took a bath (shower's broken) and cried some more. This isn't completely surprising because I've been really tired and a bit burned out lately, and I always cry at the drop of a hat when I'm tired. I was in the bath, crying, debating whether I need the money badly enough to continue working at the pub. And I decided that the money isn't worth being verbally abused, and that it's time to move on with my life. No sooner had I thought this then a Bible story popped into my head, the one where Jesus tells his disciples that if any city doesn't welcome them, they should dust the dirt of the city off their sandals as they leave. I've never been much of an evangelical Christian; I've never tried to convert anyone, but I try to live a life that follows Christ's wisdom. I treat everyone with respect, I'm sweet to everyone, even when they're assholes, and so I don't think it's too much to ask that people return the favor. Anyway, cheesy story short, I quit. I haven't offered to pick up shifts. I might at some point offer this, but not just yet. I gave one week's notice, but since I'd already requested off the next two weeks, my last day is today. And the head chef is on vacation, so I don't have to deal with him. Sigh of relief.
Tomorrow, I start the new job and get to have roast with Izzi, so things are looking up!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Update
I feel an update is in order.
Things at the pub have been weird lately. In a process no one really understands but which everyone suspects had a lot to do with the head chef, the owners of the chain more or less forced our general manager to resign. This is sad, as everyone loved the GM. I basically only went back to work there in January because I enjoyed working for him (and also didn't have any other job lined up.) The owners have also been a bit harsh to the assistant managers, who are also well-loved. The GM has been replaced by a guy who, so far, seems okay but who has a bad reputation and the head chef, who seems to have been behind everything, has been acting drunk off power lately. He loses his temper even more quickly than he used to and makes no apology. The other day, he yelled and swore at two different sets of customers. He yelled at me the other day because he kept making stupid mistakes. I'm afraid to ask him for anything. So work hasn't been quite as fun lately, and I've been looking for a way out.
You know that store I really love? The one with the beautiful clothes and homewares? The one that I applied for a job for back in September? We'll call them Brand A. Well, knowing that they are opening their second UK store in March, I decided to reapply and guess what? I got a job! Woohoo! It'll only be 15 hours per week, which is not nearly enough to pay for groceries, better yet rent, so I'll probably have to stay on at the pub until they bump me up in hours, but I'm really excited! I had induction yesterday which was long and tiring, but the managers all seem really sweet. They were talking about the new store. Apparently, the building it's in is the prettiest Brand A building ever.
Last year, Carina lived with her brother in Chelsea, which is super duper posh. She lived on a random residential road off a main street. Tucked into the armpit where her street met the main road, there was a pub and a dilapidated old building advertising an antiques market. I always noticed the antiques market and wondered if it was still in operation and what it was like inside, but I never saw it open so never got to check it out. Well, Brand A leased that old antiques market and refurbished it, and I'll now be working there! They say it's full of light that comes through original stained-glass windows, including a massive glass dome in the fitting room. There's also reportedly a pond and some trees inside the store. I'm slightly worried that I'm not high-class enough for this place! We'll see, I guess.
I also have an interview for a job at The School next week. It's for a lab-based job doing molecular biology, which I don't really want to be doing anymore, but it pays well and has to do with infectious disease, so it's a good opportunity. Wish me luck!
Things at the pub have been weird lately. In a process no one really understands but which everyone suspects had a lot to do with the head chef, the owners of the chain more or less forced our general manager to resign. This is sad, as everyone loved the GM. I basically only went back to work there in January because I enjoyed working for him (and also didn't have any other job lined up.) The owners have also been a bit harsh to the assistant managers, who are also well-loved. The GM has been replaced by a guy who, so far, seems okay but who has a bad reputation and the head chef, who seems to have been behind everything, has been acting drunk off power lately. He loses his temper even more quickly than he used to and makes no apology. The other day, he yelled and swore at two different sets of customers. He yelled at me the other day because he kept making stupid mistakes. I'm afraid to ask him for anything. So work hasn't been quite as fun lately, and I've been looking for a way out.
You know that store I really love? The one with the beautiful clothes and homewares? The one that I applied for a job for back in September? We'll call them Brand A. Well, knowing that they are opening their second UK store in March, I decided to reapply and guess what? I got a job! Woohoo! It'll only be 15 hours per week, which is not nearly enough to pay for groceries, better yet rent, so I'll probably have to stay on at the pub until they bump me up in hours, but I'm really excited! I had induction yesterday which was long and tiring, but the managers all seem really sweet. They were talking about the new store. Apparently, the building it's in is the prettiest Brand A building ever.
Last year, Carina lived with her brother in Chelsea, which is super duper posh. She lived on a random residential road off a main street. Tucked into the armpit where her street met the main road, there was a pub and a dilapidated old building advertising an antiques market. I always noticed the antiques market and wondered if it was still in operation and what it was like inside, but I never saw it open so never got to check it out. Well, Brand A leased that old antiques market and refurbished it, and I'll now be working there! They say it's full of light that comes through original stained-glass windows, including a massive glass dome in the fitting room. There's also reportedly a pond and some trees inside the store. I'm slightly worried that I'm not high-class enough for this place! We'll see, I guess.
I also have an interview for a job at The School next week. It's for a lab-based job doing molecular biology, which I don't really want to be doing anymore, but it pays well and has to do with infectious disease, so it's a good opportunity. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I really do have a life
13 Jan: rearranged my room...again
14 Jan: The streets are littered with rejected Christmas trees
16 Jan: Mojitos with James
19 Jan: Tea with Alex and Holly
20 Jan: Simon and James's Top Ten Places to Visit in England
24 Jan: City of London walk with James
28 Jan: Senate House
29 Jan: Rejoice, rejoice! Jesus has returned, everyone! And you can have tea with him, but only on Mondays at 2pm.
3 Feb: Holly and her hat
5 Feb: Izzi's berfday tiramisu
14 Jan: The streets are littered with rejected Christmas trees
16 Jan: Mojitos with James
19 Jan: Tea with Alex and Holly
20 Jan: Simon and James's Top Ten Places to Visit in England
24 Jan: City of London walk with James
28 Jan: Senate House
29 Jan: Rejoice, rejoice! Jesus has returned, everyone! And you can have tea with him, but only on Mondays at 2pm.
3 Feb: Holly and her hat
5 Feb: Izzi's berfday tiramisu
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