Freaking cat is driving me crazy. On Thursday morning, she brought a lizard into the house. He wasn’t quite dead, so I couldn’t work up the nerve to pick him up and carry him outside. I kicked the cat out and waited for Jascha to come pick me up for French class, then asked him to take the lizard out. I’m such a girl.
Yesterday morning, she did it again, but at least there were other people home this time.
This morning, I hear the cat meowing really loud, so I go out to see what’s up, and she has something in her mouth. It wasn’t the right shape for a lizard, and it took me a few seconds to realize it was a tiny bird! Like the lizards, the poor thing was still alive. Stupid cat. At least have the decency to kill it! And learn your lesson, while you’re at it. If you bring two half-dead, twitching animals into the house, and everyone screams and yells at you and kicks you out of the house, they probably won’t appreciate it the third time, either!
We’re reading a children’s story in French class about a cat who keeps bringing dead animals into the house. It’s a hilarious story called “Diary of a Killer Cat” by English author Anne Fine.
Side note: I tried to type “an” before “hilarious,” and MS Word grammar check didn’t like it. Are we not putting “an” before h’s now? Or is there a rule about certain h’s getting “a” and others getting “an”? Or is that just a British thing? Or is Microsoft just dumb? Or am I tragically old-fashioned?
Speaking of pets, Jody informs me that we now have another dog. And apparently my mom tried to bring home a cat, but Jody talked her out of it. Jody, you are my savior. I’m only mildly allergic to cats, but I’m severely allergic to our house, and I’d like to avoid adding allergens to the already-lethal mix. That house should be condemned. I’m not entirely thrilled about moving back there in four weeks, especially considering the fact that I don’t have health insurance to pay for allergy medications, but what can you do?
Dogs are fine. I’m not allergic, and they don’t bring small, twitching animals into the house. Sure, sometimes they eat their own caca, but somehow their mouths are still cleaner than human mouths.
Forget that stuff they told you when you were a kid about dogs mouthes being cleaner than ours, it's a myth.
ReplyDeleteNo offense, but I didn't talk her out of it for you. I mean, sure, you were one of the reasons I used, but I was completely selfish in my convincing her against it. :) But I did know you would benefit from it.
ReplyDeleteYou can use "an" before h-words if the "h" is silent or pronounced softly, as in "an historical event." But you couldn't do, say, "an hippie" or "an whore," unless you're Eliza Dolittle. It is okay to say "Anne Heche."
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA! "Anne Heche."
ReplyDeleteI should have asked the English teacher in the first place. Thanks, Miss Petey!