Le Sigh

Um, okay. So, I haven’t blogged in quite a while. Shall we recap?

The weekend of the 29th, my former step-dad (is a step-dad always a step-dad?) got married. To someone other than my mom. In order to ignore that fact and try to forget about it, my mom decided to go to an out-of-town resort for the weekend, and she took Jody and me with her (Becky and Amy went to the wedding, securing spots for themselves in my mother’s doghouse.) I had no desire to go to the wedding, but I was anxious about spending the whole weekend with my mom. Our lives have been rife with drama lately, and we haven’t been getting along well.

We went to Sun Mountain Resort, near Winthrop, WA, and it was really nice. Jody and I went horseback riding, and we all went for a chuck-wagon breakfast. It was beautiful, but I was on edge for much of the weekend.

The following Wednesday, Ross (my former step-dad), invited my sisters and me over for pizza. His new wife was there, and it was extremely awkward for me to be seeing Ross for the first time since November, and to have this strange new woman. It was odd seeing our old house and our old stuff being used by the two of them. It felt good to see Ross again, but I couldn’t really talk to him or catch up with him in that setting.

Anyway, he gave me some of my mom’s mail that had been sent to his house, and I waited until Saturday to give it to her. I was scared to tell her that I’d been to his house, because I knew she’d be upset (even though she told me she would be fine if I hung out with him). I’m not really going to get into the details, because it’s too hard to explain the nature of our relationship with our mom, but after a two-hour discussion, she asked me to move out. I’ve wanted to move out for a while, so I was mostly okay with this, but it probably could have come at a better time. Like, when I wasn’t broke as a joke and unemployed. It’s not that big a deal, though, because the rest of my family is being totally supportive and my dad and his wife welcomed me into their home with open arms.

It’s just hard to have my mom upset with me when I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. My heart, conscience, brain, whatever is telling me I didn’t do anything and that I’m a good person, but my mom is trying her darnedest to convince me otherwise.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at. My laptop isn’t yet set up for internet here, so I’m not sure how often I’ll be blogging or reading blogs, but I hope everyone is doing okay out there in blogland. Bisous!