Applying for jobs still sucks

Since my work and holiday visa has expired, and I'm on a bridging visa with no work restrictions, it's time to get back into the workforce! Or to try, at any rate. But I've been avoiding applying for jobs all week, a) because there aren't many, and b) because the ones being advertised require more than I have to offer. I know I should apply anyway, but it's hard to work up the motivation, and the courage, when you have submit a resume, cover letter, and a separate document addressing how you meet each of the selection criteria. Especially when I don't meet the selection criteria. It's all about bull-shitting and talking myself up, and I hate that. I know my worth, and I don't think that I under-value myself, I just don't see why I should have to try to over-value myself. They should hire me just because I'm hard-working and have lots of research experience and my previous employers think I'm awesome! Who cares if I have a high-level knowledge of mental disorders affecting young people?? Oh, that's what the job is all about? Well, I guess I can see how I'd need that...

Anyway, I'm reading Women and Money by Suze Orman instead of doing my job application (I am, of course, also taking a break to blog...) And I started thinking. When I see a job advertisement, even one that sounds like EXACTLY what I want to do, one that Hugh has sent me saying "You have to apply for this!" I immediately scroll down to the "essential criteria" section so that I can rule the job out right off the bat. I want to know the worst from the beginning. But perhaps that's not the right attitude? Perhaps that is thinking negatively, rather than thinking positively, which is what I'm trying to be better at.

When we were in school, my sisters and I used to worry constantly about our grades. If we had a test coming up, we would massively stress out the night before. Sometimes, our mom would try to convince us we were fine, that we would pass the test with a decent score (we always did, after all.) Other times, she would ask, "What's the worst thing that could possibly happen if you fail this test?" My sisters usually got the point of the game, and would say things like, "I suppose it's just one score out of the whole year, and I can make up for a low score by studying harder for the next test." My answers, generally squeezed in between hyperventilated breaths, were more like, "I'llflunkthetestI'llflunktheclassI'llbeheldbackayearNocollegeswillacceptmeI'llbeforcedtoworkatMcDonald'sbuttheshameofflippingburgerswilldrivememadandI'llbecomehomelessandhavetoliveonthestreetswhereI'lldieof tuberculosis!" So the game didn't really work for me. I might have a small issue with perspective...

So I was thinking about this job application, and obviously the worst thing that could happen, which in reality is probably what will happen, is that I'll spend some time and energy filling out the application and talking myself up, they'll see I don't have enough experience, and they'll throw my application away. That's not very motivating. But what about the best thing that could possibly happen?

The best thing that could happen would be I'd spend some time and energy filling out the application, they'll realise they haven't had an applicant with the experience they're looking for, but that I have some really strong experience and I learn quickly, they'll hire me, I'll be working full time and earning $62,000 a year, Hugh and I won't have to worry about cash for visiting the US in October or Italy next year, and we can move into a nicer place where we can have a kitten and I can buy yarn, lots and lots of yarn!!! So this will be my new mantra, because what better motivation could there be in the world than yarn and kittens?