Thursday, October 01, 2009


I'm trying to have a more positive outlook on life. Becky has been picking on me for years for always immediately saying "no" to stuff without giving it a chance. Recently, Alex told me that she was talking to our friend, Kate, and said "Kusems doesn't like the second Harry Potter book," to which Kate responded, "Does Kusems like anything?" Alex meant it as a funny anecdote, but it is definitely something I need to work on, the fact that I complain about everything and reject most things outright. Alex suggested the other day that the kind of boy I need is a Southern gentleman, and I scoffed outright before even hearing her out (also before remembering that she's Southern, so to scoff at Southern things is a bit of an insult to her).

There's a story arc in the British show "Skins" (fantastic show, by the way!) in which two of the characters make a deal with each other that they will be more positive. One of them is required to say "yes" to everything presented to her. So I've been thinking about that lately and I decided I need to stop saying "no" to things right off the bat without giving them a chance.

I went and dropped off resumes at a few local bars on Monday, and one of them asked me to return Tuesday for an interview. The interview consisted of the manager telling me that I have way too many brains and talking really fast about nonsense. He told me that he was having to prosecute some of his "Eastern European" employees for sticky fingers. The only question he asked me was whether I thought I could manage not to rob the till. I thought I could manage. So he had me back in yesterday for a three-hour trial shift, and at the end, he offered me a job. It's minimum wage and it's doubtful I'll make any tips (I made 6 pence in tips in three hours yesterday). I said I'd take it and he told me to come in today with passport and work visa and bank account info to set up direct deposit.

I was all ready to do that, but this morning, I chickened out. Going back to my new positive outlook, I tried to talk myself up and say, "Just do it. If you get a higher paying job next week, you can leave this one." But my gut was fighting it. It didn't feel right. I called Holly because she is imminently wise, even though I knew what she was going to say, and in the end, I called the guy and told him I wasn't gonna take the job. I felt a bit bad for saying "no" instead of "yes" in the end, but then I realized that I had given it a fair chance. I said "yes" to begin with when I dropped off the resume and did the trial shift. And I feel infinitely more peaceful knowing I don't have to go back into that place and work. (It was a super cheap sports bar, though decorated nicely enough, full of elderly alcoholics.) It wasn't right for me. I'm pretty sure I can do better and earn more.

Also, he wanted me to come and work on Sunday because it's a football game day, and I completely forgot that Sunday is Holly's birthday party. I knew her birthday was Sunday, and I knew I'd be working Sunday, and I've thought and talked about both without ever realizing they were the same day. Space cadet.

Okay, this means I need to drop off more resumes. TTFN!


  1. Why do you feel the need to change? Has saying "no" not been working out for you lately? Or are you afraid of how people perceive you? (Kate's comment seems to have affected you.) Saying "no" to things is fine -- perhaps the scoffing part needs to change :O)

  2. I've been told that I hate everything and that I complain a lot. I think it's a quirky character trait.

    Also, don't forget that not long after Jal agreed to stop saying "no" that she ended up as a pregnant teenager w/a dead boyfriend. :(

    ps: I got your letter and shall be mailing something back to you post hate.