I was reading "R's" blog earlier and one of her posts actually made me miss Africa. I'm not sure how. I didn't think it was possible. I did not love the Africa, as Carina once put it. But her post made me remember my dream, which I've forgotten with time. Well, not really. I just have two competing dreams: one to live in the UK and have a really enjoyable time here and maybe never leave, and another to go to India and save some sick people...without doing any doctoring or nursing, cuz I'm not qualified for that...not sure exactly how that will work.
Anyway, I have these two opposing forces inside me, one to save money for when my visa expires and have to go out into the even wider world and seek my fortune, and another to live it up while I'm here. And I was thinking about it just now, about setting myself a budget for the next 9 months in order to save £1000 (which seems like so little but will be such a struggle to save). And I got to thinking about how much money I've been living on for the past year. I have been paying well over 50% of every paycheck to rent. I could certainly cut back and save more money than I do currently; I could stop eating out full stop, I could stop buying prepared lunches when I'm too lazy to make mine ahead, I could stop buying discounted clothing from work and exclusively buy charity shop clothing. But I think I have to give myself credit for just how little I've been living on for quite a while. Give myself credit, and then buck myself up for further cuts, because I could definitely do better.
Wish me luck. It's going to involve lots of things I'm terrible at, namely, planning ahead and cooking. Blech. And possibly giving up my addiction to the internet, because internet is flippin' expensive!!! In this country, you have to have a landline in order to get internet, so you have to pay a monthly fee for the landline (even if you NEVER CALL ANYONE) and another monthly fee for the internet. Not to mention the set-up fees for both. And most companies charge you an exorbitant fee for the wireless router. When I heard that Amy and Diana didn't have internet, I thought they were crazy! Now I realize, they're just grown-ups who have to pay bills. Since I've lived with other people (or in residence halls) up to now, I haven't had to deal with any of that. Bills were just included in the rent, and that was that, happy go-lucky. Now I'm forced to consider every minute expenditure. It might break me!
I spend a huge amount of each day online. I'm not sure I can live without internet. But I might try to see how long I can last. Uugggggghhhhh...It's for the children; for the sick, little children...