Exciting Friday night ahead of me

Yay, someone still reads my blog even though I haven't posted in months! (Thanks, Joderita)

Today's mission: repack all my belongings, chucking out 10% of what remains.

I moved out of my flat last Sunday and got rid of several garbage bags full of stuff. All my belongings are more or less packed up and either ready to go, or already shipped home. But there's still too much. And somehow, my pile of personal effects has grown since Sunday. I have two large suitcases, a fairly large (and full) carry-on bag, a lap-top bag, a large handbag, and two mostly full reusable shopping bags. I don't particularly relish the thought of carting all of that (or even half of it) around London tomorrow, so tonight will be spent jeujeing and culling everything. Must be ruthless.

Brand New Day

For some reason, I'm feeling a million times better today. Actually, I felt better yesterday after chatting to Hugh on Facebook. Also, I finally submitted all my work for this project I've been working on, and I think I slept better last night as a result. I'm still sleepy, but everything is manageable today.



Corrado, Kasia, and I watched The Hangover Part II last night, and now I have "Time In A Bottle" stuck in my head.



Question of the day: is it creepy to wear my boyfriend's clothes when he's on the other side of the world? It's only his t-shirts. They smell nice...

I'm so ronery

Hugh left on Monday and I am not coping well. I mean, I'm not a wreck, but I didn't expect it to be this hard. I'm being totally pathetic. A poster for the new Muppets film had me choking back tears this morning. An article from Singapore set me off at work ("Hugh's in Singapore airport right now...OH LORD, MY ACHING HEART!")

I know a big part of the problem is that I've been stressed out and haven't been sleeping well for a few weeks now, so I'm sleep-deprived (not to mention it's PMS time). I know that's affecting my coping abilities, but I can't change that anyway.

There are moments where I feel like this is a very grown-up experience, and it's helping me mature. And then there are other moments where I feel more like a thirteen-year-old girl who's first boyfriend has been sent away to summer camp, and she mopes around like her life is over. I'm being dumb. I'm going to move over there in three or four months, and it'll feel like no time has passed at all. In the meantime, it'll get easier, right? Tomorrow will be easier than today.

I'm spending a couple days with Corrado and Kasia, which is good because Corrado is one of my favorite people in the world, and it cheers me up being around them. But I have to say goodbye to them, too, and I feel like I've been missing Hugh too much to really enjoy my last moments with Corrado and Kasia. Sigh.

I know I should be happy, because in less than a week I'll see all my favorite Londoners, and then in two weeks, I'll be HOME!! and will be with my sisters and my family for the first time in too long. I'm really looking forward to soaking them up and basking in their glory for a while.

So yes. I'll be fine, and soon. But until then, I'll just be ronery...yeah, a rittle ronery.

On my mind

Things currently on my mind:

Ivar's fish and chips
Dick's cheeseburgers and fries
Costco kosher hot dogs
Taco Time deep-fried, skinny beef burrito
Palomino waffle chips with melted gorgonzola

Hm, perhaps I should grab some lunch.

The dreaded Essay Questions

I'm filling out an application for an internship in Washington, D.C. this summer, and I feel like I'm applying for college all over again. There are four essay questions I have to answer. This feels like a uniquely American obsession, the Essay Question. To be fair, I had to write a statement to apply for my British master's program, but that was different. They wanted to know why I wanted to do the course and what I expected to gain from it.

These questions are all about the challenges I've overcome in my life.

What unique characteristics and challenges have you encountered which make you an ideal candidate for this program?

It gives the impression that Americans view life as a series of difficulties. Or perhaps more accurately, gives the impression that we're obsessed with how creative and thick-skinned we are and like to talk about it with total strangers. I can't really view my life as a series of challenges, because that wouldn't be fair to people who have overcome very real and profound set-backs to thrive in their careers, but that doesn't make me a worse candidate for the role! It's this distinctly American mentality that, if your life experience hasn't been riddled with misfortune, then it's somehow less valuable.

And then there's this one:

Please provide us with a specific example of a time when you have perceived an unfairness or injustice; what actions did you take and what outcomes did these actions produce?

Who talks like that?? What outcomes did these actions produce? Usually, the only outcome is that everyone thinks you're an asshole for rocking the boat. "Well, this one time, I'd been working for this company for a year and a half, and they wouldn't promote me, and then they promoted this really annoying, inexperienced girl ahead of me, so I acted like a total bitch to her and then left that job. The outcome from my actions was that I got a much better, more relevant, and higher paying job." Hm, maybe not the anecdote for this particular application.

I've clearly been out of America too long.

Bone and mash

I wad proud of my dinner tonight. Ever since having guests here, I've been super lazy again about cooking. I think part of it is also money. If I feel like I can go out and buy whatever ingredients I need, then I'm more likely to be adventurous and make something good. But once again, I managed to spend most of the month's money in the first week of the month. I'm down to £120, which would be fine to last me two more weeks, if it weren't for the fact that I started a list of things to do before I turn 30 (a bit late, but why not?) and on that list is to start Spanish classes, and I got a flier through the post box for classes around the corner. The Spanish class started this week (so I've missed a week), but it costs £60 which I have to pay up front. So yeah, that doesn't leave me with much to last until the 28th.

So my cupboard is looking a bit sparse. I have some leftover potatoes, and some sausages in the freezer, so I made bangers and mash! It's not much to be proud of, cuz it was super easy, but it beats my staple diet of pesto fusilli.

I went to Bill's yesterday to grab some stuff I'd loaned him, and since we decided to be friends, I loaned him Arrested Development and he loaned me his complete volume of the comic Bone. I feel like I've found a lost remnant of my childhood. A few chapters of Bone were printed in Disney Adventure magazine when I was about 11, but then it disappeared just when I got hooked! When our subscription ran out, for ages afterward I would check the back of the magazine whenever we went to the grocery store, but Bone never reappeared. And then there it was, sitting on Bill's bookcase. I haven't put it down since yesterday, except for sleep and work. I even let them send me home three hours early today so I could go home and read it!

So behind

Oh gosh, so much to catch up on, I can't even be bothered.

1. Beginning of July, PhD student sent me 217 articles to read and evaluate by the end of July.
2. Becky and John visited in August, right in the middle of the Edinburgh Festival, the biggest festival(s) of theatre, comedy, film, music, and books in the world. (217 articles still not finished) We had such an amazing time and it was beyond wonderful seeing them. And I finally made it to Hadrian's wall! (so that's my August Visiting the UK box ticked. Still need June and July, though.)
2. A week after Becky and John left, Izzi and Tim came to stay. I was a happy, happy clam. We ate lots of delicious food. I also saw fireworks to mark the end of the International Festival. Watching a fireworks show that is being launched from a castle on the side of a cliff is pretty darn amazing. They had a waterfall! Of fireworks! (217 articles still not finished)
3. At work, I was asked to be shoe specialist instead of till specialist. I've been till specialist for a year and a half, so was kind of miffed and terrified when they told me they were changing my role, but I absolutely love it! I got to organise the whole shoe stockroom! And I get to use a typewriter to write labels for the display shoes! And create a product information binder! And so much more! It totally inspires my inner librarian.
4. First week into September, I finally finished the 217 articles. Phew! Suddenly, I have loads of free time and no clue what to do with it.
5. A week after Izzi and Tim came, Carina arrived in town. She had a conference in St. Andrews (where Wills and Kate went to university) but stayed at mine because she loves me (and I her). We had dinner with Cheryl on Friday night, so it was a proper reunion. It's going to be hard not having any visitors again until December. However will I entertain myself?
6. Yesterday, I broke up with a man who makes me laugh, who likes all the same things I like, who I feel super comfortable with, and who is just generally wonderful...but for whom I just don't feel a spark. I guess I'm holding out for amazing.

So that's my life in a nutshell, at the moment. And now I have TB-related job to apply for.

More settling in

After weeks of inconvenient scheduling, I finally managed to meet up with Laura, who did the masters course with me. We went to a Japanese restaurant near the university for dinner. It was nice, and the food was yummy. It took a while to get the bill, but then they brought us each one of these so I had to forgive (I'm such a sucker.)

Afterwards, we went to Doctors for a pint, and Cheryl (another girl from our course) and her husband, Soul, met up with us. It was so nice to catch up! I hadn't seen Laura since graduation.

I cooked a few more good meals for myself, though I've been much worse lately. Back to my usual habits of junk food or eating out. Here are mini pizzas, and a store-bought chicken kiev with healthy veggies. (Okay, so all my meals are essentially the same, but they include lots of veggies and colors and stuff!)

I made another trek out to IKEA (was significantly less enthusiastic the second time around) and got myself a coffee table for £3 and change. Three pounds! Can you believe that?? Totally worth the £3.20 bus ride there and back. So my flat is coming together...or at least is functional now.

Coffee

I've always hated coffee. I hate the smell and the taste. The bitterness. A couple times, while struggling with excessive daytime sleepiness, I've tried mochas in an attempt to wake up. I find mocha more palatable than regular coffee, especially after I've added quite a bit of sugar ;-) But it never seemed to wake me up, so I gave up on coffee.

While I was living with Corrado and Kasia, they offered me espresso a few times, and eventually, I decided to try it (granted, with lots of sugar added). I didn't really notice a strong effect, but it was a nice ritual to share with friends, like a cup of tea or a pint.

One day soon after, a girl at work invited me to grab coffee at Wellington's (purportedly some of the best coffee in Edinburgh). I've felt on top of the world for about 45min afterwards, and then felt queasy and jittery for the next 45min. Hm, slightly terrifying, but completely predictable, I suppose.

Then a couple weeks ago, I was super cranky at work. The first four hours of the day draaaaaaagged, and I could hardly believe that I was only halfway done. Corrado suggested coffee, so I grabbed a mocha from Wellington during lunch. I also treated myself to fries :-) For the remainder of the working day, I was cheerful and friendly and helpful. I was a new woman. A woman who enjoys, and possibly even needs coffee. It's only a matter of time before I'm fully addicted, spending 10% of my meager income on coffee.

So now, here I sit, in an internet cafe, working on my project with a coffee in front of me because I was feeling sleepy and losing concentration at home. Seriously, the last thing I need in my life is another useless substance to waste my money on. Sigh. It's all downhill from here. I'd feel worse about it, if the coffee didn't make me feel so goooood...

Reasons I love it here

7. People here are as pasty as I am!

8. Karen is a really common name (giving the impression that I belong here.)