I haven't blogged in a while because I'm frustrated with life (work, money, London) and I'm sick of always blogging when I'm cranky.
Work is stressing me out. I asked for a raise for a second time, and again my manager came up with BS excuses why I wasn't good enough to warrant a raise, while also giving me even more responsibility and work to do. I've started having stressful dreams about work. Twenty-nine years of learning to be conscientious and hard-working and respect authority, undone by ten months working in this job. I now know that if I work hard and do a good job, I'll get taken advantage of. So it's time to stop working hard. It's time to care less.
In my Christmas stocking (Christmas with the Coley's was wonderful, by the way!), Tim's mom gave me a lavender sachet. I've taken to sniffing it lately to release stress. I took a long sniff of it this morning and was transported back to San Juan Island in May, 2004. Memories of playing at the lavender farm with my sisters, and of almost dying trying to follow my dad up a steep hill on my bike. Forget London. That's where I want to be right now. So I got to thinking, "I wonder what Jersey is like?" I pulled out my list of places to go in England before my visa runs out and added the Channel Islands to it. But why stop there? I'm frustrated with my job and have no other job prospects. Izzi and Tim might be leaving London soon for Tim's work. Why not work in the Channel Islands for a summer season? So this is my latest whim. To spend the summer working in a resort or something on a nice, warmer-than-London island.