Thursday, September 07, 2006

A Monster Under My Bed

The last couple nights, I’ve been half-awoken by a scratching sound in my room. I worried that it might be mice in the walls or something, but assumed I was imagining it and didn’t worry too much about it.

Last night, I was sitting on my bed, reading, when something black, multi-legged, and HUGE dashed out from under my bed and across the floor. It stopped to rest in front of my bookcase, so when I overcame the shock, I approached it for a closer look. Now, I had already removed my contact lenses, and I’m very nearly blind without them, so I couldn’t get close enough to see the monster without actually touching it, and that just wasn’t gonna happen. But I leaned in as close as comfort would allow, and the horrible thing suddenly took off running TOWARDS me. I almost died of heart attack. It took me a long time to catch my breath after that, and then I had to work up the nerve to walk over near it again, and grab my most textbook-like book off my bookshelf (“America” by the Daily Show staff.) I then took a good five-minutes to work up the nerve to throw the book onto the rotten creature, but the thing scuttled out of the way just as the book landed. It went and hid in another bookcase, where I couldn’t reach it, so I had to go to bed knowing there was a disgusting beast lying in wait for me. Of course, I couldn’t fall asleep then, so I lay in bed praying it would stay put and not decide to crawl all over me in my sleep. As I’m trying to force myself to think of other things (raindrops on roses and all that), I hear the scratching sound of movement I’ve been hearing for the last few nights. GREAT! I don’t have mice, just the hugest spider I’ve ever seen in my life, not including tarantulas. Needless to say, my sleep was fitful at best.

So now I’m trying to get up and start my day, but I’m afraid to do anything! I certainly can’t spend any time in my bedroom, but every dark spot on the wall or carpet that I see in any room of the house, I mistake for a spider. And I’m paranoid I have spiders crawling all over me. Ick. I’m gonna go sit in my car with the doors locked and sob. See y’all later.


  1. Random Comment9/07/2006 8:24 AM

    You shouldn't try battling giant spiders without your contact lenses in. What the heck were you thinking!

  2. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing it was in my room. I considered going upstairs to sleep on the couch, but decided to suck it up instead. The only problem is, I'm not very good at sucking it up.

  3. Are you serious? You have a spider big enough to make noises in your room and YOU ARE STILL IN THERE??? I would be in the next town, dead of a heart attack.

    No, not Hannah's wedding. My cousins' wedding and my aunt, who is the mother of the GROOM made it a total debacle. She acted like she was the mother of the BRIDE and made things miserable. When the bride wanted a simple reception, that was not good enough for my aunt so she called a friend who came and catered the whole affair and then my aunt rented tables and chairs and linens and china and silver and had napkins printed etc. She even rented little pedestal fishbowls with floatig candles in them. (Who knew you could RENT FISH??) I felt so bad for the brides family. They had to feel taken over. When we got back to my aunt and uncles house they aunt and sister cousin of the groom proceeded to wail and rail about how awful the bride was and how horrible she made things etc. IT'S JUST THE WEDDING YOU IDIOTS!!!


    No, Hannah decided after watching that debacle that she wants a MARRIAGE, not a WEDDING.

    And we might get just that. Sooner than later actually if Ricky can find a job with some insurance benefits. They are doing so well and I am so proud of the progress she is making in her counseling and the way they are maturing. I think they actually are going to make it. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF*

    About Chris, it is illegal for them to do what they are doing and if they don't get their collective acts together ASAP, I am going to start throwing around the word LAWSUIT. Then we will see how fast they can boogie. I can also have my cousin call them. That might stir things up a bit. MWHAHAHAHA. I love power. I am just holding out a bit on when to play that card.....


  4. I'm so sorry, sweetie!! I don't know where you get your arachniphobia...

  5. arachnaphobia? You realize that this makes you incredibly brave, don't you?

    (Remember Jared and his earwig issue? :)