Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Worse Than James Blunt

Today while I was waiting for le métro, a creepy guy came up and stood way closer to me than was necessary. My personal bubble was infringed upon. He stood there for a few seconds, then moved closer and said “bonjour.” Personal bubble officially popped. I ignored him because he creeped me out, but then he started making random noises to get my attention. Luckily, the métro arrived just then, and I found a seat where he couldn’t sit down next to me. But then the woman next to me got off at the next stop, so creepy dude sat down next to me. He relaxed his arms so that his arm was touching mine, even though there was plenty of space and it was avoidable. He tried talking to me while giving me a creepy “I’m hitting on you” smile, but he was mumbling really quietly and I couldn’t understand him, so I just looked at him, gave him a bit of a “what do you want?” glare, and turned away. I'll bet he was mumbling so that I would lean in to hear him. You picked the wrong girl for that, buddy! He was quiet for a minute, then tried again, still practically whispering. This time, I fully glared at him, then looked away. I'm such a brat! After another minute, he tried AGAIN, so I asked him to please, leave me alone. (Yes, I said “please”). He did leave me alone, thank goodness, and I got off the tro without further problems, but it took me a while to shake it off. Blech. I know I should have handled it differently, better, but I was in "scared" mode, and I can't think or act reasonably in that state. Which is worrisome, considering how easily/often I go into "scared" mode.

We are not amused.

We were watching France versus Switzerland in the World Cup earlier, and Athena was saying that if there were a game between France and the US, everyone in the world would cheer for France. I don’t know. I mean, yeah, the majority of the world hates the US, but I’m not entirely convinced that people are all that fond of France. I think we could secure the support of England, Australia, and Mexico, at the very least, if not South American nations, Japan, and perhaps Canada. Athena didn’t think we could get Japan because we dropped two A-bombs on them, but I think Japan has gotten over that really well. We have a great relationship with Japan, now. They love us. We might be able to get Taiwan, too, and some of the Southeast Asian countries. And I’m not sure that India particularly likes us, but what have the French done for them lately?

Actually, I don’t know anything at all about world politics, so I should just go right on ahead and shut up. Still, it irks me how much Athena enjoys watching the US get humiliated. When I walked into the room, she immediately announced that the US had lost last night, then she did her characteristic sadistic, I-derive-pleasure-from-your-pain laugh.

She’s started watching One Tree Hill, lately (called “Les Frères Scott” or “The Scott Brothers”). I mentioned to her last week that I hated the theme song for the show (you know, “I don’t wanna be…” as in “I don’t wanna be alive if I have to listen to this song one more time”). Now she sings it really loud whenever I walk into the room. Why do I continue to give her fodder with which to bug me? Will I never learn?

Wait a second, does "fodder with which to bug me" make any sense? Now I'm seriously paranoid about my English grammar! I see problems where there aren't any! Do I have to say "with which she can bug me" or does "to" suffice? Oh my gosh, I'm losing my mind...and my ability to speak English. Help!


  1. Let's just go back to something you said in your blog which perfectly sums up everything important about you:

    "I see problems where there aren't any!"

  2. PARANOIA DEEP DISTROYA (or something like that) Great 80's metal song.

    Came to mind when you asked if you were being paranoid. I felt that way when we lived in Hawaii and we would fall into pidgin when we would come home and people would look at us like we were crazy. (I still call my flip flops "slippers" cuz that's what they are over there") And a shopping cart is a "buggy" lots of funny stuff. I remember when I met my husbands cousin Stuart for the first time and I asked him later if english was his first language. Allen thought this was hilarious and told everyone the next day (much to my horror.)

    You can see a pattern here of him humiliating me. I am still not recovered from the whole speaker phone incident of yesterday. Everytime we speak I demand that he prove we are not on speaker phone.

    Oy. I have never been so humiliated.

    Don't worry. Once you get back here where everybody knows your name, normalcy will return and your grammar will normalize again and you will lose your phony Madonnaesqe accent.... :)


  3. Your grammar choice was in fact correct. The fact that you chose to say "with which" rather than "to bug me with" just shows that you still have excellent grammar. :) Don't worry. You can't get rid of Mrs. Potter's teachings that quickly. You may not have liked her, but you have to admit that you learned a lot from her. Right?

  4. No, I've always been convinced I learned nothing at all from her. I knew how to speak before being in her class, and I learned how to write from writing one. The only thing she taught me was that "towards" isn't a word, but she was wrong about that. So she taught me...NOTHING.

  5. Okay fine. I, on the other hand, learned nothing from Writing One but learned a lot from Mrs. Potter. How many years did you have her? I had her freshman and senior year, so maybe that makes a difference. I don't know. Who did you have for Writing One? You must have had a better teacher than I did!